She was on holiday and entitled to indulge.
Damien reappeared with water and the chocolates. She was definitely indulging, and in more than the chocolates.
Strange, she didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty or concerned on either account. She trusted Damien, which was fascinating. It was good to know that she still could, after Ben had let her down so gloriously.
He sat down on the plastic deck chair and popped the top off one of the waters. He handed it to her, then opened the little box of chocolates and held them out for her to make a selection.
She took one that looked like a caramel filled and settled into the chair next to him, scooting it closer so she could rest her feet on his thighs. “Do you mind?” she asked, licking the edge of the chocolate.
Shaking his head, he dropped his hand on her ankle, caressing her bare skin. Making sure her dress was tucked under her so she wasn’t flashing Damien or anyone walking by on the path below, she sighed and relaxed back into her chair.
“Comfy?” he asked. His pants were still cuffed a little from their walk on the beach, and he looked sexy and rumpled, his bare chest gleaming a bit in the muted shadows of the balcony.
“Very comfy. I feel boneless.” She popped the whole candy in her mouth and closed her eyes in appreciation. “Oh, that’s good.”
He was massaging the bottom of her foot, and Mandy decided nothing could get better than this. A half-naked, gorgeous man rubbing her feet while she floated in chocolate and post-orgasm endorphins. “How about you? Are you comfy?” she murmured, her voice sounding throaty and sensual even to her own ears.
“Very.” His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were serious. “I haven’t been this relaxed in a long time.”
She was about to ask him to tell her, to let her share that burden, to confess what caused those deep shadows in his eyes, what drew him to work so hard all the time.
But he startled her by asking, “When’s the baby due?”
His fingers roamed up her leg as if he were going to touch her stomach, but he stopped at her knee. Mandy wished he would touch her belly and wasn’t sure why. But she seemed to be feeling a lot of strange things and wasn’t sure why.
“October eighteenth. Give or take.” It seemed so far away, yet just around the corner, and she was so unprepared, so nervous.
“And everything’s okay? The doctor did one of those ultrasound things?”
Taking a sip of water, she reached for the box of chocolates resting in his lap. She wanted—no, needed—another one. “It’s a bit early for an ultrasound. If a woman is healthy, they only like to do one at about eighteen to twenty weeks so I haven’t had mine yet. But the doctor has reassured me every step of the way that I’m healthy and the baby is progressing normally.”
He stroked lightly across her kneecap. “I’m glad to hear it.” His voice was thoughtful, his head turned away from her as he watched the ocean. “I think it would terrify me to know I had a kid on the way, but you seem really in control.”
God, if he only knew. She actually laughed. “Damien, I am absolutely terrified, trust me. I never expected to be having a baby this soon in life, and there are all these books and manuals and rules about how to do this. I have a literal textbook sitting in my beach bag that I’m trying to convince myself to read, but whenever I pick it up I have a panic attack. It’s overwhelming.”
He smiled. “If you approach motherhood the way you do your job, you’ll have that kid whipped into shape in no time.”
The laugh she knew he wanted stuck in her throat. She hated the way she felt so uncertain, so needy, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Am I good at my job? Truly?”
The water bottle he’d had poised at his lips descended back into his lap. “Are you serious? You’re awesome at it. You’re my ASS, remember? Asshole’s awesome assistant, that’s you.”
“Thank you.” She nibbled at a nut in the center of the nugget she held. “It seems I have some self-esteem issues I was never aware of. I always thought I hadn’t got into an office job because that’s what my father did and I didn’t want to lose myself in a career the way he did. That I wanted to be free to be creative, pursue my own interests, set my hours, and live according to my own terms.”
Mandy sighed, realizing something she should have a long time ago. “But I’m just a hypocrite. If I really disapproved of my parents’ lifestyle, of their focus on money, I would have cut myself off from their bank account. But I haven’t. I’ve been living off of them all these years while I proved that I didn’t need a high-powered job to be happy. It’s silly, really. All I’ve proved is that I do need my parents and that I was afraid to follow in Daddy’s footsteps because I was afraid to fail. I’m twenty-six years old and I’m lazy.”
A snort wasn’t exactly the response she expected to that heartfelt confession. “What a bunch of bullshit, Mandy. You aren’t lazy at all. You ran your own toy store for three years. Howmany hours did you put into that business? Sixty hours a week, minimum, would be my guess, when you add in ordering stock, managing payroll, and scheduling and handling the taxes.”
She chewed her lip. “Maybe, but I never turned a profit.”
“Not for lack of effort. Maybe it was just the wrong business. But that doesn’t mean that you’re a leech.”
“But now I’m having a baby and I have to be responsible, go for security over what interests me.”
“And you are.”
That was true. She was. She’d given up the shop, and it didn’t even bother her. She’d do whatever was needed to ensure her baby was happy and healthy and well provided for.
“And you made the incredibly brilliant decision to work for me.” He winked at her.
