As we leave the spa, Riley is quiet. I wonder if she noticed how easy it was to tell the truth when a stranger asked the questions. How every word I said in that room came from somewhere real.
I’ve been telling myself this is pretend. Playing a role. Going through the motions until we can get the annulment and go back to normal.
But nothing I said in there was a lie.
The Venetian restaurantis candlelit and elegant, with white tablecloths, soft jazz, and a view of the faux canals below. Riley looks like a goddamn dream girl, and I can’t stop looking at her.
“This is incredible.” Riley takes a bite of her lobster, eyes closing in appreciation. “I think this might be the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”
I should be focused on my steak instead of the way the candlelight catches the curve of her cheekbone, the soft swell of her lips as she chews. I shouldn’t want to wrap my arms around her and never let go.
“Duke.”
I blink. “What?”
“You’re staring.”
“Sorry.” I’m not sorry. I drag my gaze back to my plate anyway.
“We’re living a lie,” she says quietly.
She’s smiling, but doubt shadows her eyes in the flicker of the candlelight dancing across her face. The ring glints on her finger. She fits so perfectly into this fantasy I never let myself imagine.
“Are we?” The question escapes before I can stop it. I mean it. Every word.
Riley’s smile falters. Her lips part, but no sound comes out. The silence stretches between us, and the sound of my heartbeat pounding rushes in my ears.
What if I let myself choose her?The thought surfaces unbidden.
Then reality crashes back. Six weeks. Deployment. The possibility of coming home broken or not coming home at all. I’ve watched too many marriages crumble under that weight. I won’t do that to her. If I’m honest, I don’t want to do it to myself. I’ve always told myself I can take care of myself if I come home wounded.
But my hand finds hers under the table. It happens without me consciously realizing what I’m doing. All I know is that I want to touch her, and reaching for her hand was pure instinct.
She doesn’t pull away.
I flag down the server for the check.What would it be like to spend a lifetime with Riley?
I’ve never let myself imagine that kind of future. Especially not with the risks of my job.
But sitting here with Riley, pretending to be her husband, I can see it. Mornings with her hair spread across my pillow. Eveningson the couch, her feet in my lap while she reads her romance novels. Coming home to her smile after months of sand and silence.
The vision terrifies me more than any combat zone ever has.
Because wanting this so desperately means losing it would destroy me.
Riley squeezes my hand, pulling me back to the present. “Hey. Where’d you go?”
I look at Riley and realize I’ve loved her since the day we met. This woman, who is now my wife, despite us both being blackout drunk when we said “I do.” No fucking way do I want an annulment, but I don’t know how to make this work without risking Riley getting devastated.
“Nowhere,” I manage. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
“About how good dinner was,” I lie.
She laughs. “Liar.”
Yeah. I am.
