Of me.
“No.” Still inside her, I shake my head, unreasonably angry for some reason. So angry, I don’t lower my voice. So angry I want them to hear me. I want them all to come out here and see us together. “Not until you listen.”
“Dean…” She lets out a long, shaky breath, her eyes locked on mine. “Please.”
Goddamnit.
Relaxing my grip, I set Millie on her feet and pull out of her reluctantly. Head bent, I put myself away and refasten my pants. Hands moving quickly, I keep one eye on her, ready to lunge for her if she tries to run. She doesn’t. She just stands there, braced against the wall, her dress still gathered in her hands, freshly fucked pussy exposed. My cum smeared across her thighs, watching me with barely veiled hostility.
Dropping to my knees in front of her, it takes a small act of God to keep me from burying my face between her thighs and my tongue inside her.
“I came out here to talk to you,” I say, finding the loose leg of her underwear, I lift her high-heeled foot and feed it into the hole. “I want to?—”
“Isthatwhy you came out here?” Millie laughs. There’s no humor in it, the sound so dry and brittle it’s like an icepick in my ears.
“Yes.” Pulling her panties up, I stand. Pulling her skirt from her grip, I let it drop before settling my hands on her hips, frowning down at her. “I?—”
“I don’t think we have time to talk,” she tells me, her smile as dry and brittle as her laugh. “Your date seems pretty intent on finding you.”
My date?
“What?” I feel my frown move into a scowl. “I don’t have a date. I’m not the one who?—”
And then it hits me.
What she means.
What she must think.
“I’m not here with her,” I say quietly, hoping against hope that she believes me. “I came here alone.”
“Alone?” She shakes her head like she’s already heard enough. “It’s a twenty-five-thousand dollar donation just to walk through the door, so unless you’re working—which I know you’re not—how did you get in?”
“My fairy godmother.” I could explain it to her. I could tell her that I know the Gilroys. That they, for reasons I don’t understand, have decided to involve themselves in this whole mess. I could but it would be a waste of time. Millie made up her mind about me a long time ago. Nothing I say now will make a difference.
“I saw you with her, Dean,” she tells me. “Again. I saw you with Paige. She was standing next to you. She had her hand?—”
I know what she saw. She saw me waiting, impatiently, for Declan to give me the all clear to go after her. Standing with him and Ryan O’Connell, talking, catching up, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I hadn’t seen Ryan since he was arrested when we were kids. The judge gave him the choice—prison or the army. Ryan chose the army and that was that. He never came back. Now he’s married. Has kids of his own. He’d just introduced me to his wife, Grace when I felt Paige push her hand into the crook of my elbow. I knew right away who it was and it took everything I had not to rip my arm out of her grip and start yelling. I probably would have if not for the warning look Dec gave me, telling me to keep my shit together.
Of course Millie saw us together.
Of course she assumed Paige and I came here together. Why wouldn’t she?
“What was I supposed to do?” I ask, feeling the same way I always feel when I talk to her. Desperate. Unsure. It’s not a feeling I’m used to. One I’ve only ever felt with her. That same slippery slope I found myself on that night when we were alone in her room. One that tells me I’m completely out of my depth with this woman. Always have been. Always will be. “Your father’s security team has been breathing down my neck all night. If I?—”
“Okay, Dean… okay.” She nods up at me, her hazel eyes going cloudy again. Not with indecision. With tired resignation. “Why are you here?”
“I‘m here to see you.” When I say it, I bark out a short, shitty laugh because it’s true. Not just tonight. Every night. Every time I said yes to Paige it was because saying yes meant seeing Millie. Even if all she did was ignore me. Even if all I did was irritate her enough to pick a fight. I was still with her and as fucked up as that sounds, that was all the reason I needed.
“Well…” Lifting her hands, she drops them on top of mine but she doesn’t push. Doesn’t try to get away. “You saw me. Is there something else you wanted?”
Yes.
I want you to listen to me.
I want you to believe me.
I want you, Millie.
