She hesitated. Perhaps she was overstepping her bounds by being present. Mrs. Towler did not care for her, that was certain, and despite their interactions, Mr. Warrington was still her employer. But as she watched him sitting there, her heart tore.
Surely now, after all they had experienced together, her presence would be welcome.
She entered the chamber. Mr. Warrington lifted his head at the sound.
For the first time since she had known him, he appeared tired. Worn. “Have you heard?”
She nodded, and without waiting for an invitation, she inched forward and sat in the chair opposite him. She leaned toward him and kept her voice low so as not to disturb the surgeon. “What is it?”
“She had an episode. Her heart.” Mr. Warrington sat upright and settled against the back of the chair. “He’s certain.”
Cassandra’s chest tightened. “Will she recover?”
“He doesn’t know.” He forced his fingers through his sandy hair. “I don’t know how the girls would handle another loss.”
“Let’s pray it does not come to that.” Cassandra swallowed the dry lump forming in her throat and then looked back toward the sickbed. Memories of the pain of sitting at Mrs. Denton’s side enveloped her—the anger, the sadness, the sense of betrayal. It all seemed so distant now, as if it had happened in a nightmare. She felt as helpless now as she had felt then. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“There is,” he said. “Sit here. With me.”
Sit with him?
Simple as his entreaty was, it was not the sort of request an employer should make of his governess.
Yet what about their interactions had fallen into any semblance of normalcy?
She looked down at his hands as they sat across from each other. His fingers were laced before him. How she wanted to reach out and cover those hands with her own. She could no longer deny the truth. Her feelings for him were growing in both depth and intensity. She didn’t care what Mr. North—or anyone—thought of him.
Even now, she could still feel the softness of his finger lingering on her cheek from their previous moments together. She wanted to be there again in that feeling of intimacy and closeness, of attentiveness and solidarity.
Did he think of it too?
The chances of a woman like her and a man like him having a personal relationship was so improbable. Even to find a match with a man like Mr. North was far-fetched for her.
She was an illegitimate, poor governess.
Dare she even let her thoughts drift there?
Or if she did follow her heart in such a manner, would she end up dispossessed like her mother?
She remained seated with him until after the surgeon left and all was still once again.
“I should like to help, if I can,” offered Cassandra as they sat in the quiet chamber. “I’m happy to sit here and do whatever is necessary. Does she have any family that should be notified? Any other children?”
“No. The girls and I are the only family she has, other than a distant cousin.” He folded his arms and looked toward his mother-in-law. A storm brewed in his gray eyes. His jaw clenched, then released. “My last conversation with her was an argument.”
She had no doubt what the argument with Mrs. Towler must have been about. Her.
“I understand how that feels. I do.” Cassandra tempered her voice. “I’ve shared with you that Mrs. Denton was like a mother to me, but what I didn’t tell you was that she waited until she was on her deathbed before she told me the truth about my past. All along she knew who my parents were. She said her silence on the matter had been to protect me, but in my final hours with her, I felt so betrayed. My last words to her were spoken in anger. How I regret it.”
He nodded. “It’s no secret that Mrs. Towler and I have not always seen eye to eye. We never have. Even before Elizabeth and I were married. She thought my background unbecoming for her daughter. She probably was right. But if something should happen I would hate to think our last conversation was one in which we were both so livid. And to think her state of mind might have contributed toward...”
“You can’t think that way. You mustn’t. Nothing you did, or didn’t do, contributed to her current state.”
He stood and stepped closer to the bed, increasing the distance between them. “Elizabeth would have been devastated by this. She adored her mother.”
Cassandra stiffened. She did not know much of love between a child and her mother. But she did know what her relationship with Mrs. Denton had been like. “Mrs. Denton knew I was furious that final night. But she also knew I loved her and respected her, and ultimately, nothing she could say to me would change that. I’m sure Mrs. Towler knows that even though you might not have the most cordial relationship, you respect her. It’s evident to those around you.”
“I hope so. How did life get so complicated?”
