“All, sir. The captain, his visitors, and from the looks of things, even the servants. They’ve all packed up. Given the chaos, I assume the departure was unexpected.” He tilted his head, giving me a pointed look. A chaotic departure likely meant one thing: Hollinsby had gotten wind of my presence.
I pressed my eyes closed, a feeling of lightheadedness overtaking me. No, no, no! Hollinsby couldn’t leave. Not now. I was so close to obtaining evidence. Lucas had promised to do his best to find something—anything—to help. Had the boy given me away? I hated to think he was responsible, but it was a possibility.
“I’ll need my horse readied straight away,” I said, opening my eyes.
Langley nodded. “I’ll see that it is done. What of your belongings?”
My heart pounded against my ribs, rebellious and opposing. If I left now, there was no telling when I would return to Kenwick. Or if. Chasing Hollinsby could take weeks or months. Years, even. Such a pursuit would lead me away from Annette. Away from the future I’d just begun to envision. The mere thought twisted my heart, as if it were being smashed between colliding ships. The wreckage would be a disaster, and yet, I knew…Iknewleaving was my only choice. Hollinsby could not escape. I couldn’t lose Adda.
Which meant losing Annette.
“Yes,” I said shakily. “Have my things packed as well. With haste.”
Langley rushed from the room, understanding the urgency of the request. I remained, watching the fire dance within the hearth, my fist pressed against my chest in an attempt to cure the agony beneath it.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Hard, constant, without mercy—my heart slammed and pleaded. But no matter its demands, I had to go. Perhaps it was better this way; forgiveness was likely out of my reach. In accepting Lord Paxton’s offer, I had set myself up for failure, becoming the exact type of suitor Annette feared most.
I do not wish to see you again.
A sharp pang rippled through me. Perhaps the best thing I could do was give Annette what she desired.
Chapter twenty-five
Annette
Thesoftrumbleofthunder echoed through my room, and I drew in a stuttered breath. My eyes burned, the well of tears having run dry hours ago. Loose strands of hair framed my face, and the pins poked harshly into my scalp. I sat up and removed them, each pull bringing a flash of memory to the surface.
Edward’s fingers gently tugging the pins free, his crooked smile as he stashed them in his pocket, the pure desire and longing in his dark eyes—had I simply imagined the depth of his affections? Even now, doubt and certainty waged war within me. I had felt so much, the tension between us as tangible and real as the rough stone of the ruins. Surely, my intuition had not been so off course?
But then, had I not been wrong before? Mr. Wilcot’s charm had persuaded not only Margaret but also me into believing his affection was genuine. The man had deceived us both. After their marriage, his true nature became clear, but by then, it was too late. I realized my mistake. I thought back on the moments I had watched the two of them, seeing clearly the things I had ignored out of my selfish desire to witness their budding romance.
I closed my eyes. No matter how I tried, I could not find that same clarity in regards to Edward. Nothing about the way he spoke to me or held me suggested his intentions were anything but genuine. Yes, he had flirted and used his charm on me, but it was so different from the way Mr. Wilcot had wooed Margaret. Was love truly so blinding, then? Would I require years to fully see his betrayal?
Would I ever cease loving him despite it?
I clenched the pins in my fist and threw them against the wall. Drat the man for making me fall in love with him! For making me want things I had previously been content without. Having the vision of a bright future with a husband and children ripped from me in such a way pierced deeply. I never wanted to feel like this again. If that meant giving it up, as I had originally planned, then so be it.
With renewed resolve, I stood and smoothed out my skirts. It was time I told Father his plan had failed. Time I informed him that, whatever his wishes, I would not be marrying Edward…or anyone.
I left the room and stomped down the hall. A softenterresponded to my tap on the door. I slipped inside Father’s bedchamber and found him situated in a sitting position, pillows propping him up and several extra blankets covering the lower half of his body. Even from across the room, I noted the sallowness of his skin and the deep wrinkles in his face. He had lost enough weight that his appearance was almost a ghost of its former self.
“My darling girl, come.” He gestured to the chair at his bedside, and I obliged the request. Father directed a wide smile at me. “Have you come bearing good news?”
I knew the precise news he hoped for, and guilt tossed my stomach. For a moment, I reconsidered having this conversation and lying to him instead. It would be better for his health if he believed me to soon be happily settled. But it would tear him apart if he learned the truth, and I doubted I could prevent that from happening.
My heavy sigh drained the smile from his face, replacing it with a tight frown. “What is it? What has happened?”
I swallowed, and my words came out in a whisper. “Why did you do it? Why did you offer to pay someone to marry me?”
Father’s gray brows furrowed. “Oh, my darling. He promised not to tell you. I made him promise.”
“He didn’t tell me. The contract was delivered, and Russell confronted Edward about it. I overheard them arguing. But that does not change my question.”
Father looked slightly annoyed at that. “Russell is not meant to go through my mail. I am not yet in the ground.”
“Father, please.”
“Very well, I suppose you deserve an answer. May I preface with this? I only schemed because I wanted to ensure your happiness before I depart from this world.”
