Patience. I could be patient, could I not?
Edward did not appear at breakfast. Unsurprisingly, since I rarely saw him during morning meals. I reminded myself that, while an engagement between us might be forthcoming, Edward still had matters to attend to outside of our relationship. Adda needed to be rescued, and soon. Captain Hollinsby sounded like the worst sort of man, and I could not blame Edward for the urgent desire to save the woman who had saved him. I, too, owed her my gratitude. Edward would not be alive without her goodness, and no other man had ever tempted me to reconsider my future. No other man had laid my deepest concerns and fears to rest.
But even more than Edward’s understanding of those fears, Lieutenant Paget was truly a man to be admired. He possessed an intelligence and wit that would forever keep me on my toes. Life would never descend into a dull, repetitious existence with him. His determination to fight for the freedom of others touched my soul, and I wanted to advocate for change at his side. It was not just our future we would build, but a better world for all. Adda, Margaret, and countless people like them would have their burdens lifted and be offered a path to a brighter tomorrow.
And all because of Edward.
He may have been mentored by men such as John Newton, but the foundation for Edward’s convictions had grown from his own experiences, from the things he saw as a young man in the Navy. Beneath his vexing charm and handsome features was a man determined to put an end to slavery, in all of its forms.
Mother entered the room and greeted me with a warm smile, one that twisted with curiosity as she stared at me. “You are different today.”
Heat crept into my cheeks. Was I truly so obvious? “I am not so different, surely. This gown is not new, nor is the style of my hair.”
“Perhaps not, but I was not referring to your outward appearance. There is an air about you that is different.” Rather than fill herself a tray, she took the empty seat to my right, her studious gaze never leaving me. “Has this something to do with the lieutenant?”
Drat it all. Apparently, Iwasobvious. “Why should it?”
Mother’s brows raised. There was no reason to keep things from her, but still, I hesitated. My smarting pride likely had something to do with it. After all, the numerous conversations and arguments we had over the past year about my not wishing to marry had often become heated. No matter how many times she insisted the right man would change my mind, I had objected to the idea with fierceness. Wholeheartedly rebelled.
I hated being wrong.
“Very well, he may have something to do with it,” I admitted. There was no sense putting it off. Once Edward spoke to Father, the entire household would know. Was that why Mother had brought it up? Had Edward already asked, and Father informed her of it?
My heart tripped.
“Has Father said something?” I asked, keeping my tone as nonchalant as I could and forcing my gaze onto my tray.
“Does your Father have reason to say something?” Mother retorted.
I pursed my lips. “He may soon, if he does not already.”
Mother hummed, and when I finally glanced at her, she wore a smile. I rolled my eyes. “You needn’t gloat.”
“I shan’t. Openly.”
“Mother!” I fought my laughter, but it came out anyway. She laughed with me for several moments. It had been far too long since we had done so, strained as things had been recently. It was nice to see her concerns fade, if only temporarily.
“In all truthfulness, you have reason to gloat,” I said. “You were right. I hope you’re happy that I have finally succumbed to the charm of a man.”
She placed her hand over mine. “I am, but only because I see thatyouare happy. I admit, when your Father concocted this scheme to bring the lieutenant here, I was not so sure it was wise.”
“Youknew?” Indignation rang through my words. “Conspirators, both of you. Fortunately, things have turned out well, and I shall forgive you. But, pray tell, why did you think it was unwise? Because I couldn’t stand the lieutenant in London?”
Mother chuckled. “You may tell yourself that, but I watched the two of you in London. Who do you think told your father that something might come of it? Between my observations and the way Lieutenant Paget spoke with your father about you, we both agreed the animosity you clung to was more of a front than anything. And when the two of you began courting—”
“Mama.” I squeezed her hand, stopping her as guilt swelled inside me. It would harm nothing to be honest now. “We never truly courted. It was all a ruse. Edward wished to escape the attention of the debutantes constantly chasing him, and I wished to put off other gentlemen while still fulfilling our bargain. It wasn’t real, what Edward and I had in Town.”
Her smile never faltered. She seemed amused rather than disappointed. “Leave it to you to contrive such a thing. You are not so unlike your father. Regardless, I’m not convinced. Perhaps it was not entirely real, but what I observed was far from a pure façade either. From both of you.”
Was it true? There had been moments in Town where my feelings for Edward decidedly didnotreflect loathing. Our kiss in the alley aside, we shared conversations where he always made me feel seen and heard. Despite his teasing, not once had he taken offense or been disrespectful when I, most assuredly, had been. In truth, I had given him very little reason to care for me.
A niggle of doubt stirred in my stomach, but I set it aside.
“I’m happy you’ve found someone,” Mother said. “As is your father. I worried you might get hurt, as all mothers are wont to do. As you said, we are fortunate that things have turned out well.”
I nodded. “Thank you. For everything.”
Our conversation turned to lighter topics. When I had finished breaking my fast, I slipped from the room. Shadows filled the vestibule, the sky beyond the windows streaked with darkened clouds, indicative of an impending storm. I had thought to go riding, an activity that would provide a much-needed distraction, but with the threat of rain, I decided on a different course.
