“The whole thing is horrid.”
I huffed. “And illegal. After the crew had dispersed, I wanted to confront Hollinsby, but I waited until that night, until we were well on our way to Portsmouth.”
“And that is when he tried to kill you,” she said, wrapping her arms about herself.
I nodded, swallowing against my dry throat. I could still remember the sharp sting of hitting the water, the ache in my muscles. The desperation and hopelessness seeping through me. “I visited his quarters and informed him I knew what he had done and would be notifying the Admiralty once we made port. It was foolish of me to inform him of my intentions—and to confront him alone—but I think some part of me still hoped he had a reasonable excuse. I had admired the man for years, and to have that admiration stripped away was shattering. Regardless, I quickly realized my mistake. He employed one of the lower officers, Mortimer Cratchit, to assist him in giving me a thorough beating before throwing me overboard.”
Annette gasped again. “They tossed you into the sea? Did no one on deck notice?”
I shrugged. “If they did, Hollinsby had them well enough in pocket to ignore my plight for help. I did my best to keep pace with the ship, swimming as close to it as I dared without being pulled under. I’m not even certain how long I remained in the water.”
She reclaimed her spot on the stone bench, her blue eyes piercing me with an intensity that drew me in and begged me to continue. “How did you survive?”
Emotion seized my voice, and when I finally spoke, the words were choked. “Adda saved me.”
“Your friend.” Understanding laced her tone. “The one you need to find.”
“It is the least I could do after everything,” I said. “Several of our crew had taken ill before the slave ship was captured. I later learned that Hollinsby had ordered Adda and the other slave he’d kept, a man, to attend to them. She’d been on deck when Cratchit tossed me over and waited until they were gone to supply me with a rope. It is a miracle I had the strength to climb it. Knowing Hollinsby would continue his deception motivated me, and I managed to reach the rail. I recall hands gripping me and pulling me on deck. I lost consciousness after that.
“Adda, with the help of her enslaved companion, carried me below deck. She tended to me until I recovered—kept me hidden from Hollinsby. I donned a disguise, or what one might consider a disguise. Worn clothing, a beard, and a particular stench that comes when one doesn’t bathe allowed me to go unnoticed until we docked to resupply. I escaped the ship, promising Adda I would return for her. From there, I boarded a ship for England.”
“Did the crew not notice your disappearance? A ship is too small a space for someone to simply go missing.”
“Under normal conditions, you would be correct. As I mentioned, several of the crew had taken ill. Hollinsby claimed I was among them, and as the healthy did not mingle with the sickly, no one questioned him. Besides, he could have told them I absconded after we made port.”
The way her brows puckered with disbelief made me chuckle, as did her continued annoyance on my behalf. “Your crew must have been incredibly daft to have gone along with it all so easily. And certainly poorly observant.”
“They had no reason not to believe our captain. Hollinsby is rather convincing and a talented deceiver. That is, in part, what makes him so dangerous.”
She winced. “I suppose that is true. We, as people, are often prone to following those we admire blindly. It is itself an illness among mankind.”
“Unfortunately so. I cannot claim immunity myself.”
“What happened once you arrived back in England?” she asked. “I assume that is when Adda went missing.”
“Yes. I arrived in Portsmouth uncertain whom I could trust. I waited until everyone had disembarked before attempting to find Adda. By then, Hollinsby had already carted her and the other slave off. None of my inquiries into Hollinsby's whereabouts led to anything substantial, and it killed me not to go immediately to the Admiralty about his crimes."
“Why didn’t you? The captain tried to kill you. He broke the law.”
“Yes, and what proof did I have of any of it? Hollinsby is well-respected. For me, an almost unknown, to accuse him of a crime would not have permitted good results.”
“But your father has a great deal of wealth. Surely enough influence in Society to at least convince the Admiralty to look into the matter.”
I grimaced. “Perhaps, but the fact that I hid my service aboard theFreedomfrom my family would not have looked well on my part. I never once wrote to my father of my convictions on abolition, nor did I tell them of my transfer. He and my mother both believed me to be serving elsewhere. I had not wished to worry my mother in particular, nor did I believe my father would support me in the decision to join the Squadron. It was simpler to keep them in the dark. Unfortunately, in doing so, I made bringing Hollinsby to justice that much harder. If I could lie to my parents…”
“Then it could be argued you might lie to slander Hollinsby.” She sighed, and the movement caused her to slump closer to me. Her shoulder brushed mine, and I fought the urge to wrap her in my arms. Being near this woman was a sweet kind of torture I never expected. It did not bode well for my plan to marry her for convenience alone. Even now, I wanted more contact. How would I manage restraint if we wed and the rules of propriety did not come between us?
I feared I would not manage it, and Annette’s compassion and understanding as I relayed my past did nothing to dull the yearning I felt for her. For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine what my future would look like if I fully embraced something more than convenience. If I let my heart become involved. The picture my mind created was beautiful. Tempting.
“I owe Adda my life,” I said, shoving the images away. “Until she is safe, I will not rest. I cannot.”
Annette reached for my hand, and a chilling wave rushed up my arm when her fingers wrapped around mine. “I cannot imagine what you must have gone through. To experience such turmoil and pain, all in the defense of those who could not defend themselves. It is very admirable, Edward.”
My name, spoken so tenderly on her lips, sent another shiver through me. “You give me too much credit. Most men would have done the same.”
She smiled lightly. “You will not convince me of that. I know far too many selfish men.”
“Does that mean I am not one of them?”
