“Like what?” I was curious what they saw in her that took me so long to notice—or so long to accept, rather.
“When we were in college, she wouldn’t let you go to parties without her,” Cyrus said.
“Red flag,” Fallon chirped.
“When you were thinking of opening a gym, she told you it wouldn’t be successful,” Cyrus said.
“Red flag.”
“Not to mention she obliterated your self-confidence,” Cyrus said, his voice laced with hatred.
That one really stung. They’d noticed, because of course they would have. They were my best friends, and I felt almost guilty that I’d put them through that.
“See?” Fallon said. “Red. Fucking. Flag.”
“Fuck. All right already. I wish you guys would have said something to me sooner.”
“Would you have listened to us?” Cyrus asked.
“I mean—” I thought about it for a second. “No.”
“Exactly,” he said.
The straw that really broke the camel’s back was when Jade made an offhand comment about my parents, about how I narrowly avoided a life as a hardware store owner. Like she was above that. Like she was better than my parents.
I still remember how she looked when I told her to get out—like I’d slapped her.
We were together for over a decade. Everyone expected us to get married and start a family. No one tells you how hard it is to extricate yourself from a relationship of that magnitude, but I just couldn’t keep pretending to be happy. I was miserable, and deep down, Jade probably felt the same way.
“You deserve a better partner,” Cyrus said. “Someone who appreciates you and gives you the kind of relationship you deserve.”
“And who knows?” Fallon said. “Maybe this girl is your mate.”
I laughed awkwardly.
After my relationship with Jade, I didn’t think the whole fated-mates thing was in the cards for me. But now? The things Ifelt for Tegan made me feel like it could be a possibility. I mean, notnow. But maybe I gave up hope a little too prematurely.
“The full moon is coming up. Are you going to spend it with your new lady friend?” Cyrus asked.
“I mean, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.”
It wasn’t that I couldn’t because Tegan was a human. It was just too soon in our relationship to introduce her to that side of me. I didn’t want to hurt her or scare her, and we hadn’t even had sex yet. Knotting and rutting were unique to wolven, and they weren’t the sort of thing you jumped right into.
I wanted to let her get comfortable with me first.
When the time was right, we’d spend the full moon together and I’d show her just how pleasurable it could be.
Nineteen
Tegan
How was I supposed toarticulate to Atlas that I wanted to fuck? It had only been a few days since we started dating, but we had made time to see each other every day, even if it was only for a few moments.
The night that he first asked me to go out with him, I could feel the sexual tension rolling off him in waves. I knew he wanted it—wanted me—but I felt him pull away at the last second.
Why was that? Had it been a long time for him, too? It was obvious that he was attracted to me, but maybe he just wanted to take things slow. I mean, that was fine, right?
I didn’t need sex.
