Happy. The single emotion I feel after reconciling with my woman and things between us are finally back on track. I find myself being a needy nigga, so I have bitched every time Caziya tells me she has to go home. As far as I’m concerned, home is where her damn heart is, and since I’m the mothafucka holding her heart, it’s with me. With me should mean that she’s in my bed every night so I can enjoy her thick ass leg numbing my thigh since she sleeps with it over me. I get my best sleep when my arms are around her top half.
Hell, a couple of nights I woke up with my head in her bare and mouthwatering titties. Before Caziya, I don’t recall being a breast man, but I’ll be damned if it’s not my favorite body partnow. The only downside of my jovial disposition is Kiki. One of those cootie carriers at the day care spread some kind of bug, and my baby caught it. I have been off work for the last two days trying to nurse her back to health. Unfortunately, nothing I have done thus far has helped, so it might be time to take her to the emergency room.
“Can you tell me her symptoms?” the on-call nurse at my pediatrician’s office asks, which reminds me of my present situation.
I was trying to be proactive and called the nurse hotline just in case I didn’t need to make a trip to the hospital.
“She has a fever that doesn’t seem to stay broken, a cough, a runny nose, and I can’t seem to keep her awake for more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time. I have been giving her Tylenol, but it seems to be dodging the pain she’s now complaining about and the fever. I just took her temperature, and it was tipping close to one hundred four.”
“Alright. Is she drinking fluids or keeping things down?”
My head tilts and forehead wrinkles as I try to remember the last time Zakiyah had or asked for anything to drink. When I come up blank, my stomach tightens and knots up because I realize I can’t pinpoint a time.
“I don’t remember the last time she’s drank anything. She also hasn’t been eating much.” I frown.
“Hm. Okay. I need you to take her to the emergency room at Ribax Children's Hospital. I will let them know that you’re on your way in. I will also alert Zakiyah’s pediatrician about what’s going on.”
My stomach drops to my feet as beads of sweat form on my upper lip, and the thought of what this could mean enters my mind. With trembling hands, I agree and end the call with the nurse.
“What did the nurse say?” Caziya asks.
A warm smile forms because, like me, Caziya has been with me the whole time Kiki has been sick. I’m not sure what she told her employer, but she hasn’t left my side. I’m grateful for how invested she is, not only in being available for me, but also for Zakiyah.
“I gotta take her to the emergency room,” I tell her finally.
“Okay. Go get ready, and I’ll get Zakiyah ready.” Caziya pats my shoulder and leaves the room without another word.
My heart stretches, and my chest expands with every retreating step she takes. Love is action, and the doubt I had during her quiet separation evaporates into thin air in this moment. It’s now clear that Caziya not only loves me but also my child. For that, I know it’s my duty to ensure her happiness. Right here and now, I vow to show Caziya that I not only want her in this present place in my life, but also in my future.
Get Zakiyah well, then work on getting Caziya to move in. Then work on her getting comfortable with the idea of being mine forever.
“Say less,” I mumble before I quickly move through the process of getting dressed so I can take Kiki in to get checked out.
In the next twenty minutes, Caziya, Kiki, and I are backing out of my driveway and on our way to Ribax Children’s Hospital. My heart beats wildly, a bundle of nerves rests in my stomach, and the urge to pray hits me hard.
“Okay, cutie patootie, let’s pray before we get to our destination,” Caziya says as if she can read my thoughts.
My eyes momentarily leave the road to see that Caziya faces the back, and Kiki’s weary eyes are on her.
“Otay, Pw-pwitty. I pway.” Kiki’s voice is low, choppy, and hoarse as her words pull on my heartstrings.
Caziya’s voice rings out strong and with authority as my eyes return to the road.
“Dear God, creator of the Heavens and Earth. I come to you boldly to ask that you would be with us as we go see about my sweet little Zakiyah. I ask that you heal every infirmity in her body. Right now, I call on Jehovah Rapha. Heal as only you can, and we will give your name praise, glory, and honor. Be with the doctors that will oversee her care and let your anointing reign. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”
“Amen,” I say.
My emotions swirl as I fight to contain the tears from the inflection of Caziya’s voice while praying for Kiki. I couldn’t have said a better prayer than the one she did, and my heart gallops like a herd of wild horses. Caziya places her hand on my thigh, and I momentarily shift my gaze to her.
“Everything is going to be alright. No matter what the outcome is.”
Damn, Ziya. Marry me!
All I can do is nod so I don’t spill the four words that repeat like a mantra in my mind right now. At an undetermined time, I pull into the parking garage for the hospital, find a spot, and the three of us enter the front doors. Five minutes later, I have gotten Kiki checked in and gone through the preliminaries required by the hospital. Kiki is in my arms, and the heat from her body heightens my senses and causes my muscles to tense.
“Zakiyah Tillman,” a nurse calls before I can sit down with Kiki.
Thank you, Big Homie.
