“H-hi,” she utters.
Her eyes give me a quick once-over, her shoulders sag, and her teeth hold her bottom lip hostage. But I am momentarily speechless as I assess her from head to toe. The jogging suit that covers her body has me curious about what lies beneath the garments as my dick twitches. Never have I been in a relationship where I haven’t been able to explore my woman’s body anytime I want. As a grown man with a young child, I am capable of not being reckless with my dick. But in a relationship, I have never had to go this long. My chest tightens, then releases, and my breaths come out heavily the longer I stare at Caziya. I ache for her, and by that, I mean my heart and my dick.
“C-can I come in? I-I’m ready to talk.”
My brain spins as I step back and grant her permission to come inside so I can hear whatever she has to say. My dick thumps like an African drum when Caziya walks past me, and her perfume enters my nostrils.
Talk, Zakai. Fucking her won’t give you the answers you need about what she’s here for or wants to talk to you about.
So, if she’s breaking up with me, I should at least get some parting pussy out of the deal.
I shake off the rude ass statement in my mind and follow behind Caziya like a sick puppy. When she sits on the floor in my living room and pats the space in front of her, my eyes widen, and my brows hike.
“Is there a reason we need to sit on the floor instead of the couch I paid good money for?”
“You also paid good money for this carpet, and I want to be comfortable. Can you please join me?”
What in the kumbaya is going on?
A sigh slips from my mouth as I take my position on the floor across from Caziya, who shifts into an Indian-style pose.
This woman really is about to have me on some kumbaya shit.
“Before I get into the deep shit, I want to first say I’m sorry. You have been trying to be there for me, and I haven’t given you the opportunity to do so. I want to be transparent with you, but where is Zakiyah? This conversation is gonna be heavy, and I don’t want her to see me in an emotional state.”
My heart aches, and my chest clenches from Caziya’s consideration for Kiki. From the state I found her in twice, I agree that Zakiyah wouldn’t be able to handle seeing her in an emotional state.
“She’s not here, so you’re good. Talk to me though, Ziya. Are you good?”
Caziya’s eyes instantly mist, which causes me to grab her hands and squeeze them comfortingly. I resist the urge to pull her into my lap and hold her to provide some of my strength.
“I saw my mom—Rosetta, yesterday, and I realized two things. The first thing is that I don’t want to be anything like her anymore. I also confirmed that I’m in love with you, Zakai.” Caziya’s lip trembles as water slowly trickles from her eyes and down her face.
I wipe the moisture gently as my stomach tightens, and I continue to fight the urge to hold her.
“I’m in love with you too, Ziya. Thanks for catching up.” My voice is husky and heavy with emotion as Caziya’s emotions seep into my fingers with every swipe of her tears.
“I haven’t been showing or reciprocating your love, which is why I’m here. I also know that in order for us to move forward, I have to reveal my past with you. I was raised by my aunt Emmy, and while she did an amazing job, I have always longed for a mother/daughter connection with my mother.”
It’s difficult, but I sit and listen intently as Caziya breaks down her childhood and the neglect she’s dealt with at the hands of her mother. The more Caziya shares, the more my heart breaks from the pain that shines in her eyes.
“I realized that, like my mother, I haven’t given any man I’ve encountered or dated a chance to show me something other than the neglect and rejection that she did. But with you, I love you for the man you showed me, even though you knew nothing about me. You showed me that not all men are unworthy of being loved. You gave me a reason to believe that I’m capable of commitment instead of being discarded. I know I have kept you waiting, but the truth is, I needed to go through the healing stage before I could allow you to love me. I’m ready to not only let you love me but to reciprocate your affection with my whole heart.”
I shift my weight as my eyes peer intently into Caziya’s watery ones. I open my mouth. Close it. Then I open it again as my brain spins from the words that Caziya has said.
Should I give in or ask her to leave so I can think about it? She’s kept me on ice for a while. Should I really believe that she’s ready to move forward?
“What happens the next time your egg donor comes in like a wrecking ball? I’ve experienced unstable love before. I can’t afford to do it again. It’s not just about me. I have animpressionable child who has a fondness for you. It’s only been a miracle and her young age that have kept her from repeating your name like a parrot or asking about you during this break. I can’t have her hurt, Ziya. Nor do I want to continue if this isn’t what you can handle right now.”
“That’s the thing. This mini break while necessary for my mental has been equally hard without the two of you. I love that little girl, and I never want her to experience the things I have. Coming to a healed place was for all of us. If you give me a chance, I will show you that I’m all in. I want you, Zakai. I want us.”
My chest thuds as I stare into Caziya’s eyes that plead with me to forgive her and give her another chance. My heart rate races, my body heat increases, and my blood pressure elevates as the dam breaks, and I pull Caziya into my lap. Unable to stop myself, I connect our lips in a passionate kiss that steals my breath. For the first time since opening the door, my heart rhythm slows, instantly causing Caziya’s rapidly beating heart to sync with mine. Time speeds up and then slows down when Caziya’s hands move all over my body before she grips my dick through the shorts I’m wearing.
“I need you, Zakai,” she whispers against my lips.
The air that escapes her mouth causes my brain to short-circuit as blood rushes to my dick, and it hardens to a painful level.
“Come on, because I refuse to continue on this floor.” I stand gently without dropping Caziya and head to the steps toward my bedroom.
