“How?”
He lowered his lashes, and when he met my eyes again, I saw something in his face I could only classify as shame.I squeezed his hand tighter.“What is it?
“I am disgusted by what I did.”He looked away from me, the muscles of his jaw clenching and unclenching.
“You don’t have to tell me,” I said, reaching over to pat his forearm.
“You need to know.If we reach Zulen—”
“Whenwe reach Zulen.”During our patrol training, we learned never to think in hypotheticals.Wewouldreturn to Highcastle alive.Wewoulddestroy any Hollows we encountered.Wewouldsurvive.
Taio met my gaze.“Whenwe reach Zulen, you need to know why I chose you.”
I inhaled sharply, my heart tripping with anticipation.This was the question I’d struggled with since Taio arrived in Highcastle.Why had he come and what was he seeking?
“Leed captured five Twilight Men,” Taio told me.
“Hecapturedthem?”I had never heard of capturing Hollows.We killed them and destroyed the bodies if possible.
“He laid a trap, baited with a dead animal,” Taio said, his face a mask of disgust.“He caught the Twilight Men and put them in cages he had rolled into our arena.He left them there for days, in the cages, while we studied what methods would and would not kill them.”
“But if he was from Earsleh, he knew the methods to kill them.Why not just show you and have you practice?”
“He enjoyed hurting them.He would cut off a finger or stab one on the belly to watch them suffer.”
“They don’t suffer,” I said.“They are not alive, not conscious.”
“I saw with my own eyes the way they reacted when a foot was sliced or a limb cut off.It did not stop their thirst for our flesh, but they felt something.I do not know what to call it except pain.”
I shook my head.I did not believe Hollows felt pain.I could not believe that.“But I have seen them suffer horrible injuries, injuries that would stop a human, and the Hollows keep coming.They will crawl on bellies with their innards spilling out to get to one of us.”
“I do not claim to understand them, Mara.I have only seen a few, but I believe their hunger is so intense they are ruled by it.They cannot stop the hunger, even for...pain.”He looked at me.“After the arena, I was ashamed.I told Leed I knew enough and would no longer train with him.The others followed me.”
Of course they had.Taio was a natural leader.
“We continued training with our weapons but did not kill Twilight Men again.Until now.”
I leaned back and looked up at the ceiling where the lamp light made strange shapes out of the mix of shadows.I did not know another man or woman who possessed the compassion Taio seemed to possess.He mourned Hollows.He refused to kill them unless it was self-defense.Except...
“Oh, Taio.”I leaned forward and rose to my knees, facing him.“I am sorry you had to kill Finnrey.I should never have allowed you to do it.”
He caught my arms with his hands.“She wanted death, and she did not want you to have the memory of killing her.I comprehended that well, as I carry the memory of murdering my friend.”
“Now that I understand more about you and your people, I see how difficult that must have been for you.”
“Do you not think you are worth me taking on challenges, Mara?I did this for you.I would do anything for you.”
I stared at him.No one had ever said these words to me, not even my mother, who probably would do anything for me as long as it also served her own interests.Was Taio trying to tell me he loved me?That he’d killed Finnrey, even though it went against his principles, because he loved me and did not want the task to fall to me?
Would I have done the same for him, given an equivalent situation?Yes, I think I would.In the past days, he had changed from my enemy to my friend and now...something more.“Why did you choose me, Taio?”
He touched my cheek with his rough palm, the skin of which smelled slightly of lemon.“Three reasons.The least of which is that you are beautiful.That first time I saw you, up on the castle wall, I wanted you.I had never seen such a beautiful woman.Picture my joy when I learned you were a princess.”
“I imagine you saw the others and realized they are much more beautiful.”
“No.None of them could compare to you.If your people do not see that, then they are blind.”
Gaz had never wanted me.He wanted power and access to the throne.He had probably been biding his time and thinking of the best way to seduce me when my father charged him to assassinate Taio.
