“Taio will be glad to hear that,” she said, gaze still on the forest.
“Why?He hates me.”I hadn’t said these thoughts aloud before, but they rang true.Most of the time Taio could barely look at me, and when he did, his jaw always tightened.That first night together, he’d kept as far from me as he could.Tonight, the air had been unusually cold; otherwise, Taio would not have wanted anything to do with me.
“You think Taio hates you?”Omira said.She was staring at me now.
Her tone of voice made me hesitate.“He acts like he hates me.He hardly ever looks at me except to scowl.He doesn’t speak to me unless he must.”He didn’t even choose me to be his watch partner, I thought, though was wise enough to keep this disappointment to myself.
“You do not have experience with men,” Omira said, cocking her head to the side.
I whipped my head to face her.“What?”
“You know little about men.”
I looked over my shoulder, making sure everyone was asleep and not listening to this conversation, though I knew we were far enough away from them that it would have been difficult to hear even if we hadn’t been whispering.
“Have you never had a lover?”Omira asked.
“We’re not allowed to marry without the King’s permission.”
Omira tilted her head.“No one is intimate unless the King sanctions the relationship?I doubt that.”
I felt my cheeks heat.Of course there were clandestine love affairs, but if a woman was not wed, she must be careful of her reputation.To bear a child outside of marriage was a great taboo.And since the inner walls of Highcastle could not support the birth of too many children, all women living inside the castle walls drank an herbal concoction monthly to prevent the birth of a child.Married women inside the walls must apply to the king for permission to bear a child.Those living in the outerlands had no such rules.
“Such relationships are frowned upon,” I said.“But no one has ever been interested in me in that way anyway.”
“Why not?”she asked.“You are attractive.”
I shook my head.“No, I’m not.”I immediately regretted my words.I didn’t want to confide in Omira.I barely knew her, and this was the sort of conversation even Finnrey and I shied away from.Probably because Finnrey always had men chasing after her, while I had lusted after Gaz in secret and only just recently seemed to catch his attention.
When it was too late.
“What is wrong with you?”Omira asked, which was an odd reply.Whenever I complained about my looks to Finnrey or my mother, they always told me I was very pretty...in my own way.“Tell me,” Omira said.“I tell you true when I say I do not see it.”
If I had thought this conversation was as embarrassing as it could get, I had obviously been wrong.An Earslehen would have seen I was uncomfortable and changed the subject, but the Zulenii were bold and seemingly oblivious to the discomfort their direct questions caused.Omira stared at me expectantly.I would not be able to avoid this conversation.Finally, I said, “I’m too tall.”
“Are you?”she asked.Belatedly, I remembered we were the same height.
“Among my people, I’m too tall,” I clarified.“I’m taller than every woman and most men.Slim, strong, and small is considered attractive among my people.”
“Strange that a warrior people would want small warriors.”
“Not really.The smaller you are the less of a target you are.In training, everyone targets my legs because they’re long and make me easier to trip.”
“Hmm.I do not think Taio would say anything about fighting you was easy.”
Her words sent a flood of warmth through me.I told myself it was pride in how I’d competed, but I had a suspicion that I was merely pleased to have given Taio a challenge.
“What else is wrong with you?”
I smiled.Her brash way of speaking was beginning to grow on me now that I realized she wasn’t trying to offend me.“My eyes have flecks.”
“What are flecks?I do not know this word.”
I wasn’t sure how to explain what a fleck was or even how to show her when it was far too dark for her to see.“I mean that my eyes are not purely brown.They have bits of other colors that makes them look muddy.”
“I haven’t noticed anything wrong with your eyes.I will look again in the light.”
“I can’t wait.”
