That was his problem, right? He would always mess up. He could never be the man Zoe needed. The fact that he told her as much didn’t make it any better. Didn’t make him feel any better.
He finished his chores. The animals didn’t care about his demons. They needed fresh water, clean hay, and a reliable hand. That, at least, he could give them.
His phone buzzed. The vibration spiked through his nerves, and he fumbled it out, pulse already racing.
It was a message from his mom.
Dinner tomorrow? Bring Zoe.
He stared until the screen dimmed, then set the phone face-down on the feed barrel.
The lantern sputtered, throwing shadows long across the stalls. Jackson tugged his flannel tighter, instincts prickling. There was nothing there. Just the stillness of Maple Falls at nightfall. But his body didn’t believe it. His body never did.
At last, he sank onto a hay bale, brush dangling loose. Exhaustion seeped in heavy as stone. Zoe’s face rose in his mind, uninvited, with the way her lips parted when he kissed her, eyes bright with something that sparked a feeling deep inside him, something that was an awful lot like hope.
He scrubbed a hand down his jaw. She wanted more, wanted everything. He’d felt it. And God help him, he wanted it too.
But he couldn’t have it. Not when the nights broke him apart. Not when guilt still gutted him raw. Not when he couldn’t sit through a beer at her table without bolting like a coward.
The llamas shifted, hooves scraping the floor. Jackson forced himself to his feet, grabbed an empty bucket, and carried it to the feed room. Motion was safer than stillness. Work was easier than wanting.
Still, as he set the bucket down and leaned against the doorframe, he found himself staring out into the fields. The stars were relentless in their brilliance tonight—sharp points of light against the dark, like hope dared him to reach for it.
He’d almost claimed her tonight. Almost believed he could. And maybe that mattered.
Because for the first time in years, he allowed himself to think he might one day be ready. For her, for everything they could be together.
And he would fight his demons hard, for the chance to be the man she deserved.
NINETEEN
ZOE
Thursday, March 13th
Two nights later, Zoe found herself curled up on Cassidy’s overstuffed sofa for an impromptu girls’ night with her and Krista. She hadn’t spoken to Jackson since he’d walked out of her apartment, and though she kept telling herself that giving him space was the right thing to do, the silence gnawed at her.
She’d done it for him. She could see the pain he carried and knew he needed room to breathe and to sort through the things he wasn’t ready to share. She loved him enough to step back, even when every part of her wanted to run after him, to tell him she didn’t need him fixed, she just needed him.
Zoe’s chest tightened. The entire town thought they were Maple Falls’s next great love story, but how on earth were they supposed to keep fake dating for another month? There was no pretending now. How could there be after the way he’d set her body alight? Every time she pictured standing beside him with his hand at the small of her back, the crowd cheering as they danced beneath the twinkle lights, her stomach did a somersault.
Cassidy, of course, didn’t know any of the thoughts swirling in her head. Neither did Krista. She needed the distraction tonight, but to them it was just another excuse for wine, snacks, and gossip.
Cassidy’s apartment was a vibe as always. She had a wreath woven with silk tulips and pink ribbons hanging above the mantle, glass jars filled with jellybeans and foil-wrapped eggs on the end tables, and a bouquet of daffodils sat in a vase shaped like a bunny on the coffee table. Even the throw pillows had little embroidered chicks on them.
Zoe couldn’t help but smile. “You really lean into a theme, don’t you?”
Cassidy beamed. “If you think this is bad, just wait until Christmas. Last year was just the start.”
Zoe laughed. December had been Cassidy’s first Christmas in Maple Falls, and her tree had taken up half the living room, strung with so many lights it could’ve guided Santa in from orbit. Cassidy had kept the same all-in seasonal energy going now, just swapped red and green for pastels.
“I heard about your hot double date with Madison and Zach at the Millers’ old barn,” Cassidy said, taking a sip of her wine.
Zoe groaned and reached for a cracker. “You people need new hobbies.”
She pretended to study the spread. Cassidy had stacked it with wedges of brie and cheddar, curls of prosciutto, little clusters of red grapes, and a pile of crackers. Zoe would pretty much study anything rather than think about how that axe-throwing night had ended.
“It sounds like things are going well though, no?” Krista asked, raising her eyebrows.
