“You know, for what it’s worth,” I say. “I loved that historical biopic you did.”
“You saw that?” he asks, looking up with surprise.
“Of course,” I reply nonchalantly. “I’ve seen everything you’ve done.”
His eyes linger on my face for a moment before he turns toward the garden. “Pierce doesn’t like it when I say yes to the low-budget films. It makes sense. I don’t make as much money off of those. They don’t really further my career much.”
“Aye, but you enjoyed it. I could tell.”
“I did,” he mumbles as if lost in a memory.
“Besides, it’s your decision,” I reply. “Who cares what he thinks?”
At that, Colin laughs, a bone-dry laugh. “He’s about to be my husband. Of course I care what he thinks.”
“Well, I’m not your husband, but I’m far more interested in whatyouthink, and he should be too.”
Colin heaves a sigh. “Stop it, Declan,” he says before rubbing his forehead. He looks irritated with me, but I’m not sure what I did.
“Stop what?” I ask.
“Stop comparing yourself to him. Stop trying to be a hero. Stop thinking you’re so much better for me than he is.”
With a chuff, I shake my head.Unbelievable.“I never said any of that,” I argue.
“Yeah, well, I can hear it in your tone.”
“I’m not comparing myself to him, but if I was, I’d prove to be far better.”
“There it is,” he replies with a laugh. “So arrogant, Declan. And all talk.”
“You thinkI’marrogant?” My tone is dripping with sarcasm. “Compared tohim?”
“You both are,” he snaps. “The only difference is that he is my fiancé.”
“Well, you’ve got me there, Shakespeare. I’m not your fiancé. I’m not your boyfriend, and I’m not your husband. I’m yourfriend. And as your friend, I’m always going to have your back. Can you say the same thing about him?”
I can see his jaw clicking from here as he grinds his molars with frustration. “You always were such a goodfriend,” he mutters under his breath.
I don’t argue. I can read the subtext, and I can hear the acrimony in his voice. I was never more than his friend, even when he wanted me to be. There’s nothing untrue in that argument, so I keep quiet.
As if on cue, the rain pours even harder, like the sky is commiserating.
“So what about you, huh?” he asks as he turns toward me with a tired-sounding sigh. “How come you’re not engaged, or married, or dating anybody?”
“When have I ever?” I reply.
“I figured you’d grow out of it eventually,” he says.
“Grow out of it?”
“Yeah, it’s a little depressing, don’t you think? This idea that you have to be alone forever.”
“Yeah, I do,” I sigh. “But it’s just who I am, Colin.”
“I recall,” he says with a hint of sadness in his voice. “So no one’s caught your fancy and made you want to change your mind?”
You have.But I don’t say it out loud.
