This week has flown by too fast, so I’m stuck in a constant state of bliss and dread. Since we had sex that first night, we haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other. When I’m not at the theatre, or we’re not on the beach, we are getting each other off in some manner.
I never thought of myself as a sexual person, but with Declan, I feel as if I’m learning so much about what I like. The sex is amazing. But it’s so much more than that. The way he is with me, dominating me, making me feel so good, I can’t imagine sex with anyone else would ever compare.
There’s just a small hint of hesitancy from him, and I can sense it. Not physically. He’s not afraid to touch me. Every morning this week, I’ve awoken to the feel of his lips on mesomewhere. He’s affectionate and tender and says things that steal the breath from my lungs.
But I’m not yet Declan’s lover. And I’ll never be his boyfriend.
He loves me as his best friend. And I’m afraid that it could go on like this forever.
The sound of the charcoal on the canvas quiets for a moment, and I look up to where he’s sitting on the chair, admiring me with a smirk on his face.
“What?” I ask.
“I’m thinking about taking a break,” he says before he bites his lips. His eyes aren’t on my face, but they are glued to the spot between my legs. I’m splayed out naked on the couch for him. In fact, after we had sex this morning, I never got dressed. I haven’t worn a stitch of clothing all day.
“Another break?” I ask with a smirk.
“I mean…I don’t have to suck your dick if you have other plans,” he says as he moves to all fours and crawls across the floor toward me.
“Oh, by all means,” I reply. “I have no plans.”
“Good,” he mutters as he reaches the couch. His lips start on the top of my right foot and move slowly upward, along my leg and over my knee. “Can I be honest?” he asks before licking a line along the inside of my thigh.
I shift on the couch as my dick twitches from the sensation. “Yes, please. Tell me.” I’m practically holding my breath, waiting for him to say exactly what I want to hear. Anything would work, really. He could say how he never expected to fall for his college roommate. Or how he had secretly hoped this would happen this week. Or how he wants to stay in LA and never leave.
All responses would be perfect.
Instead, I’m blindsided.
He climbs between my legs on the sofa and kisses my stomach as he says, “It’s such a relief to have someone to just have sex with without any strings or obligations. I feel so comfortable with you, Shakespeare. We can fuck and get each other off. And no matter what, we will always be friends.”
Immediately, I tense, feeling a chill rush over me from his words.
“Yeah,” I mutter without inflection. “But we’re more than that…” I say.
His mouth teases the area around my cock, and as thrown off as I am by his words, my body still wants him.
“Of course we are,” he mutters before kissing his way up the length of my dick.
“I’m yours,” I say breathlessly as he closes his lips around the head and sucks tenderly.
Then he pops off, teasing me as he says, “You are mine.”
“That, uh…” I stammer, trying to form meaningful sentences and enjoy what’s happening to my body at the same time. “That sounds like strings and obligations to me.”
He chuckles against my shaft. Then he lifts up and smiles at me. “That’s not what I meant, Shelby.”
“Then what did you mean?” I ask, feeling more vulnerable than I want to at the moment.
“I just meant…” He rests his arms on my legs and stares up at me. The smile has faded, and the laughter is gone. All that’s left is sober honesty. “Fuck, I don’t know what I meant, Colin. I suck at relationships, and most people I sleep with want to try and make me promise something to them that I can’t promise. But with you…”
His voice trails as he leans away from me, his back against the couch. I don’t want to just lie here naked with a raging hard-on while we have this conversation, so I snatch the blanket from the back of the couch and drape it over my lap as I lean forward.
“What about me?” I ask.
“It’s easy with you.”
It’s easy with me.It’s easy with me because I don’t demand anything. I let him have as much as he wants, and I don’t ask for anything in return. It’s easy with me because I will be whatever he wants me to be. His friend. His fuck toy. Anything.
