I can’t explain the way his words affect me. I don’t know if it’s arousal or the alcohol, but something about the way he’s talking to me right now with his grip on my neck has me nearly melting into the cobblestones. I’d do anything he asked. I turn into a passive, obedient pile of flesh for him with one word.
“Yes,” I reply in a whisper.
He doesn’t let go and only leans in closer. “You are my best bloody friend, so stop talking about yourself like that and just let me take care of you.”
My head tilts, and although I see two of him, I stare into his eyes—both sets—and let his words sink in. I am his best friend. And he will always take care of me.
And if I push this with him and try to make him love me in a different way than he does now, I could ruin it.
Wordlessly, I nod.
“Good,” he mutters before releasing my throat. My skin misses his touch immediately.
I cling to his arm, looping mine around his as he leads me back to the flat. And as much as I try to make sense of what just happened, I can’t. I just know I’ve never felt so at peace as I did when he had me under that spell, when he had me under his control, when I was fully surrendered to him.
I don’t know if it was all in my head or if Declan did that on purpose, but now that I know what it feels like to have his power over me, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to let it go.
Chapter Seventeen
Colin
The thin ray of light bleeding through the curtain on the window is enough to make my head scream in pain as I peel my eyes open. Immediately, my mind starts to replay the events of last night.
Oh God, what did I say?
What did I do?
I remember being at the pub with Declan. I remember a very arousing and slightly embarrassing conversation about the skills of my mouth. I remember leaving and him having to practically carry me. I remember a very strange moment after we left when Declan seemed so cruel and yet so…controlled.
But after that, I’m drawing a blank.
God, how do I not even remember coming back to the flat we rented?
Slowly and carefully rolling onto my back, I wait as my head stops throbbing from the movement. It takes a moment for the room to stop spinning. My stomach clenches with nausea.
I lift the blanket over me and glance down to see my nearly naked body under the covers. The only thing I’m wearing is a tight pair of boxer briefs, and they’re not mine.
I scan my memory again, hoping for something to come upregarding last night. Did Declan and I…
I turn my head to the left, surprised to see another body in the bed with me. Declan’s dark-brown mop peeks out from under the blankets. I peel them back to see him sleeping peacefully at my side, regardless of the fact that there’s another bed in the flat he could have slept in.
How on earth did I end up in his boxers?
Did we have sex, and I don’t even remember it?
I lift the blankets a little more to find that Declan is wearing a tight white T-shirt and a pair of his own boxer briefs.
“How you feeling, Shakespeare?” he mumbles sleepily when he notices I’m awake. His eyes are still closed, and his voice is groggy.
“Like shite,” I reply.
He chuckles into his pillow. “I tried to tell you.”
Why did I drink so much? It’s so not like me. Was it that I was just so excited to be around him again? Was it because I truly wanted my inhibitions gone in hopes that we could recreate a moment from last year?
“Are you not hungover?” I ask. “We drank the same amount.”
Declan rolls onto his back and stretches his arms over his head. “Aye, we did, but I’m a bit more used to it than you are.”
