I shrug. “You’d be surprised how much I remember.”
Taking another bite, he doesn’t say anything, obviously in contemplation.
So I add, “You’re not as inconsequential to me as I was to you.”
He drops his fork. “That’s not fair.”
“Nothing ever is,” I reply without looking at him.
“You act like I didn’t try, Declan. Like I didn’tbeg you.”
“You’re right,” I argue. “You asked for something I couldn’t give you, and to punish me for that, you did the one thing that would hurt me the most. You left. Forever.”
His mouth sets in a thin line as he shakes his head. “I asked for what I deserved.”
We’re in the middle of a cold stare-down when approaching footsteps pull us out of it. “What’s going on in here?” Pierce asks as he enters the room, where Colin and I are sitting across from each other.
Each of the little cakes on the tray has been picked at, and two forks lie among the mess. The only thing thicker than that frosting is the tension between us.
Pierce massages Colin’s shoulders, forcing him to smile up at his fiancé. I glare down at the half-eaten desserts and try to swallow down the ire rising in my throat.
“So?” Pierce asks. “Which one won?”
“I think…the lemon,” Colin replies with forced cheer.
Lifting my head, I smile up at him and then up at Pierce. “Definitely. The lemon was sublime. Very good choice.”
Then I scribblelemondown on the notepad in the leather binder.
“Sounds great,” Pierce says excitedly.
With that, I stand from the table. “I have a meeting with the florist,” I say. “But if you need anything from me…” I level my gaze on Colin as I add, “Anything at all, please let me know.”
He looks away as I hurry from the room, leaving the two men alone with their ridiculous fucking cakes.
I don’t know what got into me back there or why I was so intent on arguing with Colin, but I really need to get my head in the game. There’s no point in making this wedding any harder than it already is.
I don’t care that he’s my old friend. And I don’t care that we crossed a line seven years ago. I won’t let this wedding be ruined by deeply buried resentment. I refuse to lose this bet because of some hard feelings.
Colin doesn’t matter to me anymore. The only thing that does matter to me is my future, my life, my peace. It’s all I have to protect now, at all costs.
Chapter Fifteen
Declan
The cake-tasting incident with Colin stays with me all afternoon. He and Pierce have gone into the city for the rest of the day to do some shopping for the wedding, and I’m too worked up and irritated to relax.
I’ve crossed off everything I can on that stupid fucking list of Anna’s, so now I want to let off some steam.
I head up into my studio, my hands moving erratically as I select a playlist from my phone and connect it to the Bluetooth player. Classical music is blaring so loud I can’t hear myself think, which is exactly what I want.
All day, I feel like I’ve been plagued with memories. Remembering moments from uni or one of our summer trips afterward. Tender moments. Sexy moments. Funny moments. All of them are like a virus, only making me feel like shit. I’m mourning the loss all over again, and it vexes the hell out of me.
Why does it have to hurt so much when a friendship ends? Until Colin, I had no idea what it felt like. Does this one hurt more because of those lines we crossed? It was nothing more than some benefits of our friendship, no strings. Or at least I thought.
Maybe if we had never made things physical, we’d still befriends. The memories wouldn’t likely have been half as good, but he’d be more than a memory. And I wouldn’t be so fucking mad.
Trying to distract my mind, I put on my apron and slice a large chunk of clay from the mass on the table, covering the rest with thick plastic once I’m done. I take so much satisfaction in slamming the clay on the wheel that I do it twice.
