Taking his face in my hands, I hold him close, his forehead pressed against mine. And we just stay like that for a while. Then, I kiss him, hoping he trusts that I won’t let him regret that decision.
Once we get out of the shower, we each get dressed, Colin borrowing clothes from my wardrobe since his are in a different part of the house.
There’s something about seeing him swimming in my shirt and trousers. It’s not just sexy. It’s comforting. I want him to infiltrate every crevice of my life. My clothes, my home, my space. I want everything that belongs to me to belong to him too.
After we’re dressed, I take Colin down to the kitchen, where it’s eerily quiet compared to how it’s been all week. I assume my sister has arranged for a lot of the staff to come back on Monday, but for now, we have the house to ourselves.
There is a three-tiered cake and enough food in our house to feed the town itself. I notice Colin eyeing it all with regret, so I usher him out to the parlor while I fix us some lunch.
When I return with two plates piled with food, I find him staring out the window in contemplation. I set the plates down on a nearby table and approach him slowly from behind.
When he feels me coming closer, he turns toward me with a sad smile. As he takes my hand, I draw him toward the chairs, where we both sit and eat.
As usual, he breaks the silence first. “What now?”
I shift in my seat, afraid of where this question might lead.
“Well, Shakespeare, that’s a tough question. You have a career and a life, and all I have is this fucking house.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to just meet up next summer?” he asks with a coy smirk.
My expression flattens as I glare at him. “Is that supposed to be a joke?”
He chuckles to himself. “A bad one, yes.”
After a tension-filled moment, I say, “Do you have room in your life for me?”
There’s a wrinkle between his brows as he lifts his gaze to my face. “Of course.” Then he shifts in his seat before taking my hand. “Declan, does my life scare you?”
“Scare me?”
“Yes, my private life is not private. My name will be all over the internet by tomorrow morning, and if you and I make things public, they will share your name and your picture. Are you ready for that?”
I’m frozen in place for a moment as I tug him toward me until he’s on my lap. I take his face in my hands as I say, “Shakespeare, they could share my bare arse on the internet tomorrow, and I wouldn’t give a shite.”
He chuckles in my arms before growing serious. “You’re not afraid of being seen publicly with me…a man?”
“Fuck no. I’d be proud.”
His eyes soften as he leans toward me, pressing his lips to mine. “Then come stay with me in LA. Maybe until we figure something else out.”
“Or forever,” I reply. “As long as I have you, it doesn’t matter. They have therapists and art galleries in LA, don’t they?”
His blue eyes glisten as he smiles. “They do.”
“Then, I’ll come.”
“Really?” he replies tearfully. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
I pull him against me for a warm, hungry kiss. But I can practically feel the exhaustion in his bones, so I don’t let it get too heated. Instead, I maneuver us to the couch in a lying position, him nestled between my body and the back cushions, his head on my shoulder.
He yawns a couple of times before I tell him to close his eyes, which he does.
As he drifts off, I’m content with just staring at him. Then, I try to remember what it felt like to fall in love with Colin. And it’s strange that I can’t quite pinpoint a moment. It was more like he filled a void in my life so seamlessly that I barely noticed.
He needed someone to care about him, and I needed someone to care about. Someone to hold my hand as I learned to love again. Someone who was patient and gentle. But also someone resilient and selfless.
