“Will you stop yelling at me?”
“Put the suitcase away first,” she argues.
I throw it under my bed and toss my hands up in surrender.
“Much better.” This time there’s a smile on her face.
“I don’t think I like you very much,” I say with a glower.
“Good. Now, come on,” she replies cheerfully as she loops her arm through mine. “Let’s make you look so good for this party tonight he won’t possibly be able to say no.”
I glance up at her perplexed. “What’s wrong with the way I look now?”
She just laughs, tugging me to the door.
* * *
Blaire sets me up on a chair in my bathroom and cuts inches off of my hair while my knee bounces nervously.
“Relax,” she says. “What are you so afraid of? That man is no match for you. I’ve seen the way Colin looks at you.”
“It’s not that,” I mutter as I glare at my reflection. The man looking back at me is a fool. He once had everything and threw it all away. Something I have never forgiven him for.
“Then what is it?” she asks, shaking the strands of my hair with her fingers.
“I’ve already fucked things up with him once.”
“You don’t think he’ll give you another chance?” she asks.
“I don’t think I deserve it,” I mumble. “Not to mention…losing him last time nearly killed me. I never fully recovered from that. I can’t do it again.”
“How did you lose him? Whatever you did, you must have learned, right? Don’t do it again.”
I chuff, and she looks at me expectantly.
“You don’t understand,” I reply. “Colin and I were friends first. For four years, we were best friends. And then we became friends who fucked. But he wanted me to be his boyfriend. We were at a party like…this one tonight, and he wanted me to…”
“To what?” she snaps when I don’t finish right away.
“It doesn’t matter,” I reply. “The point is I wouldn’t give him the commitment he wanted, nor the freedom. I took Colin for granted for so long. It wasn’t fair of me,” I mutter, feeling like utter horse shite as the words leave my lips.
“At least you can acknowledge it now,” she says, softly tapping my shoulder. “Show him that you’ve changed. Prove it to Colin so he knows he can have everything he wants—a man who loves him and who will give him the commitment he needs. If you do that, he won’t possibly say no.”
Blaire greases up some cologne-scented wax and runs it through my now-short locks.
“Where the bloody hell did you get that?” I ask.
She smiles mischievously. “I stole it from one of the groomsmen’s rooms.”
I shake my head at her.
“But I mean…look at how hot you are!”
She moves out of the way, revealing my new look in the mirror. I hardly recognize the man staring back. I look like a version of myself. My hair is pristine. My black-on-black shirt and trousers fit like a glove.
I can’t help but wonder if this is the version of me Colin wants. The version whose life wasn’t turned on its head. Whodidn’t wallow in self-pity for two decades. Who doesn’t drink too much, and whose fingers aren’t constantly covered in charcoal and clay.
“Do you like it?” Blaire asks timidly.
