“So, again, your lack of self-worth is my problem? Cause you’ll never make me feel bad about having my own identity and dreams. As much as I love Ricky, I wasn’t put here to stand in his shadow. Now, on the other hand, I don’t mind standing beside him.”
She snarled. “You love him?”
“Of course.”
Her eyes lowered into slits. “Why are you talking like you’re still with him? Is there something I should fucking know?”
Breeze
“Aye, what you think is taking them so long with the drinks,” Harlem wondered.
I shrugged. “Aint no telling,” I told him, when I knew that if Summer and Ora were downstairs, together for that long, then they were definitely exchanging words.
Shit, truthfully, I was cool with them getting a little carried away. Getting too loud. Have a outburst. Then we could put all this bullshit on the table. As long as it didn’t get physical, which I doubt it would, because Ora’s scary ass was definitely not about that life.
Harlem lightly chuckled. “Maybe Summer wanted to give us some time alone. To clear the air.”
I licked my lips, wondering where he was going with this. “Clear the air about what?”
“Awe, come on, man. You know. It’s man to man, right now. And you know that we aint been fucking with each other. And I guess that Summer is thinking about the fact that we’re back in the city. I’ll be at the family functions, or just coming through with her, when she wants to see her mama. And I’m sure that she don’t want us beefed up, creating unnecessary tension.”
I cynically chuckled. “Are you saying that you got a problem with me, Harlem?”
He hooded his eyes. “Are you telling me that you don’t?”
I nodded. “Yeah, there’s something there. But I was just feeding offyourenergy. The shit started with you. It was like the minute I moved in with Summer and her mama, you got weird.”
“Nah,” he disagreed. “Shit didn’t get weird, until you was moving funny. I had never seen you move how you was moving. At first, I tried to ignore it. Told myself that I was tripping. But after a while, I couldn’t look past the shit. I’d come over to see Summer, and you’d be right there. Sitting with us. The whole time. Basically cock blocking. Which is crazy, cause I’d witnessed you fuck so many girls, and not once did I miss the cues to give you space. But you couldn’t even keep it P for me.”
“Okay.” I shrugged, offering no argument.
“Then, I know this might sound petty,” he carried on. “But I was still trying look past shit. Told myself that you probably just thought that she was fine shit, and that’s understandable. Summer was the baddest in the whole school. So, I get it. But then…one day, I was at y’all house. I asked you to make a run with me to the store. And we stopped to grab something to eat. You remember that?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Okay. I decided to order Summer something, even though she hadn’t asked for nothing. So, I was ordering her food, only for you to speak up, and tell the lady to cancel it, cause Summer didn’t eat that. Then you ordered what she liked.”
I frowned. “You was mad that I paid attention, nigga?”
“Nah,” he denied. “I was mad, cause I know you. Since the ninth fucking grade. What’s my favorite food, Breeze?”
“Shit, the hell if I know.” I shrugged.
“My point exactly. Me and you had been tight for years. Spending nights at each other’s houses. Fading the malls together. Running to McDonald’s. DoorDashing. And you never paid attention to what I liked, cause you didn’t give a fuck. That wasn’t because your head be in clouds some fucking where. Nah. You a smart nigga. And you only pay attention to the shit that’s important to you. You study it. And in just a very short while, you knew everything about Summer. That shit didn’t sit right with me.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “If you felt some type of way, then why not say nothing?”
“Cause I thought about it. I could flat out ask you if you liked her, but I doubted that you was gonna be honest. Then the conversation could’ve created even more awkwardness. I wasn’ttrying to go there, especially when you lived in the same house with my girlfriend. Us bumping heads would probably have made it impossible for me to come through.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah. Then you remember when we had gotten back cordial for a little while? I was chopping it up with you, telling you how I missed Summer, and wanted to take her to prom. Only for you to smile in my face, and turn around and show up at prom with her yourself. Everybody was talking about that shit, swearing that something had to be going on. And my dumb ass defended y’all, swearing that y’all came together, just because y’all both didn’t have dates, and came from the same house. All because I didn’t like how the truth would makemelook.”
Gliding my tongue across my teeth, I said nothing, because I knew that he wasn’t finished. And I was letting him get all the shit off his chest.
“Anyway, I invited you over to reach a understanding with you. Let you know that Summer ismywoman,” he spoke with intensity.
I yawned. “Who you trying to convince? Me or yourself, nigga?”
