“Boy, shut the fuck up!” Summer gritted, as she clobbered him over the head. “Just telling this bitch my business! I don’t even know why I was just letting your nasty ass nut in me, when these are the type of games you fucking play. I literally let you celebrate a hoe’s birthday in my fucking face! After I literally just mentioned that…I needed you. This is the day that I lost our fucking babyyyy!” She suddenly cried, and he immediately took her into his arms. “I came here for you to hold me. Not to have a pissing contest with this basic ass girl.”
“Stop crying,” he spoke softly. “I’m sorry. You fucking me up, right now. Cause you never talk about the baby—"
“Basic?” I snapped, cutting their little emotional moment off. “Look at how shallow and stupid you sound. Materialism got you in a chokehold—”
She shook her head, and cynically laughed. “See, this is exactly what I’m talking about. You being basic has nothing to do with how you dress. Or even look. It’s about your mindset. Your way of thinking is ignorant, and is why you stayed here, and listened to us fuck. And it’s why I’m not finna be with him. Cause girls like you are the most dangerous type. No matter what he does, you’re fucking with him. And I can’t compete with a dummy that keeps her door wide open. He’ll just walk through it whenever he so chooses, and I’llneverwalk on pins and needles, scared that he’ll run back to his fool, at the first sight of turmoil. So, you can fucking have him.” She shoved him again. “And you, nigga.” She angrily pointed at Breeze. “It’s funny how you pretend not to understand why we’re stuck. Like I was ever gonna forget how I had that miscarriage, and grieved alone. With you right you in the same fucking house! Instead of our bond strengthening, you run off and fuck this bitch! Showed me that you wasn’t shit, and my heart wasn’t safe at the worst fucking time. So, fucking right I punish you. Won’t give you what you want. Because if I did, then you probably would just play with it again. Cause you only want it so bad, because I won’t give it to you.”
Breeze shook his head. “It’s sad that you think like that. Playing defense, when I aint fucking playing at all, Summer. I was fucked up ‘bout the baby. Even if we didn’t know that they existed, until you was losing it. I wanted that baby so fucking bad. Then you wanted to keep a certain image in your mama’s eyes, so bad that you refused to talk about it at home. So, I shed my tears alone. Didn’t fucking know what you had bottled up. And that’s why you fucking choose to punish me? Can’t bebecause I fucked Ora, cause I didn’t!” He shouted. “I never took it there with her, until I caught that nigga in your dorm room!”
“Oh, please.” She waved him off. “You expect me to believe that?”
Breeze turned to me. “Tell her, Ora.”
I frowned. “Tell her what?”
“That I wasn’t fucking you, before we left for college.”
My lashes fluttered at his audacity. “I’m not doing no such thing.”
Summer angrily nodded. “Exactly. And that’s why I’m finna fucking go!” She stomped off.
I sniffed, as I watched Breeze go after her.
“You aint going no muthafuckin where!” He barked, before a door slammed shut.
Right then, I had never felt more unwelcome in a space. Then with my suitcase still in Breeze’s room, I couldn’t even walk away, without subjecting myself to another humiliation ritual.
So, I sat back down, saying nothing, until the screaming and shouting quieted. Maybe thirty minutes later, I decided to tap out and admit defeat. Things had never gone this far in my presence, and I honestly felt like I was at my capacity. Therefore, I headed to his room.
Stepping down the hallway, I soon realized that the door was closed this time. And when I stood in front of it, I could hear the whimpering and skin clapping, indicating that they were fucking again.
Shaking my head, I couldn’t deny how pathetic I was, right then. And it was even sadder to think that I didn’t even have leverage. I couldn’t threaten to take myself away, becauseclearly, he didn’t give a damn about that. I couldn’t fight Summer…because let’s face it, I wasn’t a fighter, and I still remembered how her and her friends had jumped Breeze that time.
I was from the hood, sure. But was of the pretty, kept it cute variety. So, I didn’t know what to do, and probably looked like the weakest bitch on the planet, as I was eventually shaken awake on the couch. Breeze told me that I had to leave, because Summer said so.
He’d reserved a hotel for me, and already had my suitcase at the door. Mere minutes later, an Uber pulled up, and I was carted away from his house. On my fucking birthday weekend, no less.
And that soon became a nasty pattern between us. Summer wouldn’t fully be with Breeze, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave him alone.
Then sometimes…things would be so good between me and Breeze. Damn near perfect. We’d get closer, and he’d open up to me. And it was like she could always feel it. Because then she’d show up, knowing that he’d been fucking me, all the while, and call herself showing me that she was in control.
Now, I was sure that some would say that I was the cause of my own pain. I could’ve simply walked away. But so could she. Instead, she walked around, like her shit didn’t stink. When she could’ve just stepped back, and let me be with the man that she clearly didn’t want.
Summer
A year later…
“I’m not calling his bitch ass. Not after the stunt he just pulled. Hell, no,” I grumbled to myself, as I paced back and forth in the middle of the living room in my L.A. high-rise.
I was heated. What was supposed to be one of the most defining moments in my career was now tainted. I’d just left the private screening of my first upcoming televised miniseries. My mama couldn’t make it, because she had to work, which was cool. My daddy had flown in just to be there for me, before doing a turnaround, right after. I was cool with that too. However, I wasn’t cool with the ways that Ricky Tymaine Ferris Junior had played with me.
As usual, I’d called him excitedly to share the news of my screening. He then told me how proud he was, and promised that he would accompany me to the screening.
With so much going on, I had only been sporadically texting Ricky, assuming that I would see him once he flew out. And all the way up until a few hours before the screening, I just knew that he’d pop up at my apartment, as he usually did. Hell, I didn’t even bother calling, because I never had to micromanage him. If he said that he was doing something, then his word was his bond.
So, my feelings were beyond hurt, as I walked into that screening without him. The moment didn’t even feel as glorious, without him there with me. And his absence was all that I could think about.
Naturally, my daddy had dinner with me, after. Then he hopped on a flight. So, I was now at home, deep in my feelings.
