Sadie’s cerulean eyes glimmer.
Me:Is that why you never wanted to turn me? You feel bad about Darius?
Her jaw works.I’ve felt bad about him for over two centuries. He said he was the customer I’d never forget, and he was right.
I take her hand.What happened to him wasn’t your fault, sweetheart.You weren’t the one in control of that situation. You can’t blame yourself for Anya’s actions.
Sadie chews her lip.I suppose so. But I think it’s why I didn’t want to turn you. I felt responsible for him andthought something similar would happen to you if I did. Maybe that got mixed up with thinking you’d leave me.
Me:It makes sense but you don’t need to worry about that now. I’m a vampire and I still want to be with you, regardless of anything that’s happened in the past.
Sadie sighs and looks down at her lap.I need some time to process everything … It’s a lot.
I open my mouth to tell her how I feel out loud, but then close it again. It’s not the right time to declare my undying love. Hopefully I’ve said enough to convey it, but I’m never entirely sure when it comes to Sadie. I may have to go bigger.
***
Two days later, I’m round at the apartment, dropping off a cooler of blood bags. Damian is there as well. He thought going back to work as a vampire might be a challenge, so he’s booked unscheduled leave for two weeks to try and control his bloodlust. By the way he salivates at the blood bag when I hand it to him, it could take more than two weeks.
Hester is at her London audition, and Floss keeps checking her phone anxiously. ‘Nothing yet. She must’vehad it by now. She said she’d message me as soon as she heard anything.’
‘She won’t find out straightaway, surely?’ says Sadie from her revolving leather chair.
Apart from greeting me when I came in, she’s been ignoring me. It’s been like this ever since we got back. No invitation to come over and stay the night either. That strange awkwardness is still there between us, and I’m not sure how to bridge it.
Floss nods. ‘They want to make a decision pretty quickly. It’s between her and two other girls. Oooh, I hope she gets it. She’s perfect for the part, and Will will have to notice her then.’
‘Who is this guy?’ I ask. ‘I keep hearing his name bandied about.’
‘No one really knows, but Hester is obsessed with him,’ scoffs Sadie.
I glance at her. Sounds like someone’s a bit jealous. What’s going on there?
Floss’s phone vibrates, and she clicks into the message and squeals loudly.
I flinch, and Damian almost drops his blood bag. ‘Ow!’ he says, rubbing his left ear. As newbies, our hearing is supersensitive.
‘Sorry, babe.’
‘Didshe get it?’ I ask.
‘She says, “Ask Damian if hypnosis can help someone get over stage fright.”’
Damian grins. ‘I think that’s a “yes” then.’
Floss’s phone rings, and she puts it on speaker. ‘Did you get it? Did you get the part?’ she asks breathlessly.
There’s a pause, and Hester says, ‘I just found out ... I got it.’
We all whoop and clap and call out ‘Congratulations!’
Hester laughs. ‘Thanks, guys. I’m flying back up tonight so we can celebrate. And discuss you-know-what.’
Smiling, I look around, but Sadie has disappeared. Fuck it. She’s driving me batty. I can’t wait any longer. I need to do this right now. I should’ve when we first got back, but I chickened out.
I walk into the kitchen to find her boiling the kettle and spooning coffee into a mug. I lean against the door, watching her.
‘Is that for me?’
