I gaze at her, unblinking, waiting for the familiar tug of her grip to keep me here, if that’s what she wants. Instead, there’s nothing, no tug of the leash. And it’s like a light bulb going off in my head: Sadie’s spell is broken because I’m now a vampire. I can choose to leave the room if I want to. After forty years of complete enthrallment, even a simpleaction like this is staggering, and I stumble a little against the side of the bed.
Sadie turns away, looking intently at her phone, but I know she saw the epiphany on my face. She could force me to stay if she really wanted to, pin me to the floor like she did with Tim; it’s her main power after all. But she appears reluctant to control me—now that I’m like her. And my main power hasn’t been determined. If it’s something dangerous, then she’s wise to be self-protective.
‘You won’t go too far? I don’t want to have to go running around in the forest again if you get lost. My Converse can’t handle it.’
She gives a wobbly smile, and even though I can’t hear her thoughts, I somehow know what she’s thinking:He loved me blindly when his will wasn’t his own. Does he now? Is he going to bugger off?
I guess that’s what I need to figure out.
‘I’ll stick close to the house,’ I reassure her. It’s the least I can offer for now.
‘Before you go ...’ Sadie rummages in her handbag and takes out my glasses case. ‘I brought these with me. I thought you might need them.’
‘Thanks.’ I put them on with a sigh. Hopefully, my 20/20 vision kicks in soon. Whoever heard of a vampire needing glasses?
Chapter 39
Sadie | Highlands, present day
Elliott returns at dusk. I almost collapse with relief when he saunters into the lounge, having been on tenterhooks ever since he left.
Poor Hester had to put up with a very distracted performance from me. I’m sure she’ll do fine. She was born to be an actress, even if she doesn’t have complete confidence in herself going into the audition. The desire to act alongside Will is making her extra determined to overcome her stage fright, which is admirable.
But I could hardly focus on what she was saying. All I heard were the lines:
Lady, you are the cruell’st she alive,
If you will lead these graces to the grave
And leave the world no copy…
And I immediately sunk into despair about Elliott. If I’d released him from his enthrallment earlier, at least he wouldhave had a somewhat normal life. But he’s a 63 year-old in a 23-year-old’s body because my venom has kept him young, and now that he’s a vampire he can’t even have kids! How shit is that? And it’s obvious he’s regained his sense of identity. It was written all over his face:She can’t tell me what to do. I’m a vampire now.
I could have, but I didn’t dare try to stop him. He needs time and space to reconcile with this new vampiric form. If it turns out that he doesn’t want to be with me, then I have to be OK with that. But oh, I’m a selfish bitch, I want him to choose to be with me forever!
Lucy is the catalyst of all my angst, and I could hate her. I want to hate her. But what’s the point? It’s not her fault. It’s mine.
Silently, I hand Elliott a glass of blood, poured from our emergency stock; and he sips it. I know he has blood in his ‘revitalising’ coffee, but seeing him drinking it straight is so weird. But then everyone is. Even Tim, who’s sitting there on the couch, is looking sprightly, if paler than usual. Vampirism will do that to you.
There’s a slate board filled with cubes of raw meat on the coffee table. An amuse-bouche to feed seven hungry vampires.
‘Dig in,’ Tim says, gesturing to it. ‘It’s still fresh. I put it in the fridge last night before I answered the door andinvited inyour friendAlexander Dryden.’
‘No friend of mine,’ Lucy murmurs, and he puts a comforting arm around her. She nestles into his chest.
I’m kind of surprised they’re a couple. But I suppose a bond has formed from all those hours they spent fucking, and I kind of figured his feelings for me weren’tthatdeep. It must’ve been more desperation for me to turn him than anything else.
Their snuggling makes me miss Elliott. He’s not too far away, only over on the other couch, but it feels like a deep dark chasm stretches between us. I studiously drink my blood and try not to look at him.
Tim clears his throat. ‘I have a little speech to make. Firstly, I want to apologise for my appalling behaviour in the kitchen this morning. I don’t typically jerk off in front of my guests.’
Everyone smiles politely, and there’s an awkward silence.
Hester:For the love of God, someone please make a joke!
I sigh. ‘Tim, I know you wanted to make us pancakes for breakfast, but there are more subtle ways to serve the cream.’
Tim guffaws, and it effectively breaks the tension. Damian cracks up, and Floss and Hester giggle together. Elliott throws me a grin, as if to say ‘There she is’. I huffa laugh. It does feel good to let my sense of humour loose. I’ve had a few good quips up my sleeve today, but I held back due to the seriousness of everything that’s been happening. Lucy smiles thinly, as if she doesn’t like me being the centre of attention, but she can get over herself.
