“You won’t if you don’t go outside.”
I snorted. His point was a good one, though. “So what, we’re going all the way to Crete for you to keep me in bed for two weeks?” Not that I objected. Ezra’s plan sounded fun.
“Hmm, I suppose not. The hotel does have a very nice restaurant, and I want to see that pretty arse of yours in a pool.”
“Do you think this is the sort of place I can have a pool floatie? I want one of the giant doughnuts so I can float in the pool while sipping cocktails and tanning.” I’d done that with Jade last year and it had been so much fun.
“Maybe, but if not, we have a small private pool attached to our room. I’ll get you one and order some cocktails from room service.”
I shot him a grin. “You spoil me.”
“You’re very spoilable, puppy,” he said, returning the smile with a warmth that made my stomach flip.
The being spoilt thing still caught me off guard at times, because I’d never been in that position before and once or twice it had made me uncomfortable for reasons I’d struggled to put into words. Eventually, after a lot of talking it through with Charlie, Ezra, and Devon—who’d actually helped me hit the nail on the head—I’d realised it was because I’d always been told it would be my job to spoil my wife or girlfriend, and being spoilt by Ezra made a lot of ugly internalised homophobia rear its head.
It still threw me now and then, but I was getting better at dealing with it. Especially thanks to a few therapy sessions with Wayne, which gave me a few tools to get a handle on it.
“As long as you let me spoil you too,” I said, turning the car onto a side street as we wound our way across the city.
“Oh no, how terrible that will be,” he said. “Having a sexy young man spoiling me while we’re in a luxury hotel in Crete. However will I cope?”
“Don’t be a dick or you won’t get anything!”
“We both know you won’t be able to keep that up. You love me too much.”
“I do. I really do,” I said, brushing my fingers against his as we stopped at some traffic lights. I’d never imagined being in love like this. Love had seemed like a fantasy or a dream, something other people experienced but not me.
Not because I wasn’t romantic or thought I couldn’t fall in love, but because I’d spent so long trying to force myself into a box that was never going to fit. I’d spent years pushing down my feelings and desires, convincing myself that if I tried hard enough or found the right woman, then everything would click. But that would never have been possible, and if I’d kept forcing myself down that path, I’d have ended up broken, miserable, and alone. Or trapped in a loveless, sexless relationship for the sake of appearances.
Following Ezra into that bar had been the best decision I’d ever made. Or the first of many good ones. Either way, that day had changed my life for the better and given me things I’d never dreamed of.
He was my everything. There was no other way to put it.
I’d been a bit worried about telling Jade and my grandad about him—and the whole being gay thing in general—and I’d ended up bottling it up for weeks until it had all come spewing out when Jade had come up for a visit last November. I’d taken her out for cocktails and been so nervous I’d necked three Long Island Iced Teas. Which meant instead of telling her in a calm, relaxed way, I’d said, “Did you know I’m gay and I really like sucking dick?”
Jade had just grinned at me and said, “You always did like putting things in your mouth.”
I was pretty sure she’d never let me live the whole night down, but mostly because I’d then gone on a whole tangent about how much I loved Ezra. I’d tried to deny it, but she’d filmed me so she could show me the next morning when I was hungover as fuck and could barely crawl off the sofa.
Although that hangover wasnothingcompared to the one I’d had when I’d first met Shane and Eric, and they’d taken me and Ezra out for dinner and drinks. I still couldn’t remember when or how the night had ended, but I had vague memories of having a very in-depth conversation with Shane about sex toys. Apparently, we’d also discovered we liked a lot of similar things, but I didn’t remember all of that.
I did like Shane and Eric a lot though, and Shane had said, more than once, that he loved me and Ezra together. He thought we were very good for each other. And I had to agree.
Grandad had said something similar when I’d ended up taking Ezra down for Sunday lunch not long after I’d first told him, because of course Grandad had insisted on meetinghim. Grandad had immediately approved, told Ezra all the local gossip, and the three of us now had a group chat so Grandad could keep us updated with everything. Like Jade, he hadn’t seemed particularly surprised, just happy that I was happy.
I’d asked him about if he’d tell my dad, because I was nervous he’d somehow find out and try to contact me to make my life hell, but all Grandad had said was, “Why the bloody hell would I do that?”
“Are you sure this is it?” I asked as we pulled up outside the next house, a beautiful golden-stoned building right on the doorstep of Lincoln Cathedral. Like, right fucking next to it.
“Yes, Minster Yard,” Ezra said, double-checking the details on his phone. “It might be a bit big for us, though, because it’s got four bedrooms. But the photos look nice.”
“Yeah, but so did the last one.”
“True. Maybe we’ll get lucky, though.”
We climbed out of the car and Ezra slid his hand into mine as we walked towards the front door, where we were immediately greeted by someone from the estate agents. My stomach bubbled as I tried not to get my hopes up, because we’d been in this position so many times and each one had turned out to be shit.
Ezra nodded as we walked through the door into an entrance hall with beautiful pale green walls and hardwood floors, a long set of stairs on one side. The first thing I noticed was how clean it was. I mean, there was a bit of dust on the skirting boards, but that was kind of to be expected if it had been empty for a while. But the whole place gave off a vibe of being well loved and well cared for.
