“Good,” he said. “Oh, but you should definitely let me introduce you to Amanda’s cousin. He’s a doctor, recently moved back from London, loves rugby, and he’s pretty hot. Oh, and he’s single, obviously.”
I snorted because of course Charlie would immediately try to play wingman. It was kind of sweet. “Actually, I’ve already met someone. Been sort of seeing him for a while now. He was, er, helping me with the whole sexuality thing.”
“Wait, you already have a boyfriend?”
“Yeah.” I flushed, because it hadn’t really hit me before that Ezra was my boyfriend. Boyfriend… that was pretty cool. And something I’d never imagined being able to say, not even to myself.
“Seriously? Okay, who is he? Where did you meet him? What does he do for work? What are his hobbies? Can I meet him? Oh, you two should definitely come to dinner. Then Amanda can meet him too.”
“Jesus, are you my fucking dad or something?”
“Fuck no, I’m much better! I’m your best friend and I want to make sure he’s good for you.”
“I’m twenty-four!”
“And? I don’t want anyone taking advantage of you.”
“He definitely didn’t do that,” I said, then sighed. Somehow, this part was a thousand fucking times harder than telling him I was gay. But I wanted Charlie to like Ezra, not kick up a stink because he thought he was wrong for me. “You’ve already met him actually. It’s, er, it’s Ezra.”
Charlie stared at me, his forkful of scrambled eggs hovering in mid-air.
“Come on,” I said. “Out with it.”
“I mean… isn’t he a bit… well…”
“Yeah, he’s older than me. And he’s been going through some shit. But I think he’s hot as fuck, and he really gives a shit about me. When I’m with him, fuck, you know when you talk about how being with Amanda makes everything better? That’s how I feel about him. Yeah, it’s still new, but I really like him, Charlie. I always thought everyone was making it up when they talked about butterflies or just being happy when they’re around, but with Ezra, I finally get it.”
Charlie nodded and smiled. “Okay then. But if he hurts you, I will kill him.”
“Wouldn’t expect anything less.”
“And you’re still bringing him to dinner. I’ll get a date from Amanda. Just let me get this weekend over with.”
“Oh shit, are you finally asking her?”
“Yeah, it’s all planned. Saturday afternoon at her parents’ house. I’m fucking bricking it.”
“You’re gonna do great.” It was my turn to smile and reach across the table to squeeze his hand. “She’s going to say yes.”
“I hope so.” He sighed slowly, then went back to his eggs. We ate in silence for a second before Charlie added, “Are you gonna tell everyone else? About you and Ezra.”
“I’m gonna tell them. I’ll be shit at hiding it and I want… I want everyone to know. I’ve been hiding for so long and I can’t do it anymore.” I was still nervous, but at least I had Charlie on my side. West too.
He was sitting a bit further down with Jonny, Devon, and Mason, the four of them with their heads together as usual. The whole canteen had filled up now, although there were still a few people missing. I debated doing it now, standing on a chair andmaking a statement. But if I did, everyone would have questions and I wouldn’t get to finish my breakfast.
And this wasn’t the sort of thing I fancied doing on an empty stomach.
Food first, then I’d come out.
It took longer than I’d anticipated for me to get around to it.
At first, I thought I’d do it in the changing rooms before we went into the gym, but I got distracted by talking Charlie through his engagement plan and what he was going to say. Then we had a team meeting, then lunch, and it wasn’t until we were getting ready to head out onto the pitch that I finally found my moment.
It was a bit last minute, but I knew if I didn’t do it then, I’d have to wait until tomorrow. Then the nerves would build up, I’d start overthinking it, and I’d fuck it up by putting my foot in my mouth.
I finished lacing my boots, smoothed out my moustache, took a deep breath, and stood up. “Hey, guys, I’ve got something to tell you.”
It took a minute for everyone to shut up, mostly through various people shushing the guys around them. Everyone’s eyes fell on me and the urge to vomit suddenly surged through me, my stomach writhing as the teriyaki chicken I’d had for lunch threatened to make an appearance.
