“Any reason you might be getting in your head?”
It was an innocuous question, but I suddenly wondered if he knew. I swallowed, not looking at him. “Dunno. Probably stress. Wanna make sure I’m on my A game this season and don’t fuck anything up.”
It was a vague worry I had, but I was really fucking good at what I did, so it wasn’t really a pressing issue. It made a reasonable excuse, though.
Clive nodded again thoughtfully. “You know we’re all here for you if need anything. Or if you want to have a chat, we can. Just you and me. And I promise, nothing will leave my office unless you want it to.”
“Thanks.” I gave him a small smile, hoping that would be enough to convince him I was taking his offer into consideration. There was only one person I wanted to talk to, though, and he wasn’t here.
I glanced up at the training centre, trying to pick out Ezra’s office amongst the line-up of blind-covered windows on the second floor. They all looked the same, though, and it was hard to tell from here which was which.
But I could have sworn I saw the blinds on one of them twitching.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ezra
Ezra
You weren’t being a very good boy today, puppy. Don’t think I didn’t see your tantrum during training. What’s got you so wound up?
Danny
YOU! This whole three day waiting thing is bollocks!!
Danny
And it’s messing with my head. I don’t like it
Ezra
Is waiting three days really that hard for you?
Danny
Yes!! Are you really finding it easy?
I spun leisurelyin my desk chair as I tried to think of a response, glad I was the only one in the office today so I didn’t have to hide what I was doing. That was the blessing of havingflexible working. The only reason I worked in the office as much as I did was because my shitty flat didn’t even have a table, and I was too old to work from my crappy excuse for a sofa or lumpy bed without totally fucking my back up.
And since I had a nice office, I might as well use it.
I thought about telling Danny the truth, that no, I wasn’t finding this easy. That my own rules had turned him into forbidden fruit instead of making my brain calm the fuck down and think critically about the situation.
It was barely a week since I’d told Shane I was never doing this again, and yet here I was, obsessing over the winger with puppy eyes and ridiculous hair. And yes, I knew sex wasn’t dating. But my already less than casual approach to Danny was setting off alarms in the back of my head because thinking about him every waking hour and watching him out the goddamn window like some creepy, perverted stalker wasn’t casual.
Fuck me and my damn life. Why couldn’t I have ignored him?
At some point during our night out, maybe when we’d been drinking on my sofa, Eric had tried to suggest that maybe finding someone to fuck would help me unwind and forget about all the crap in my life for a bit, but getting involved with Danny wasn’t going to help with anything. It’d just give me new shit to obsess over. Instead of my divorce and bellend of an ex-husband, I’d be focusing on what I wanted to do to Danny instead.
And I was already fucking doing that, no sex required.
Ezra
No, I’m not
Ezra
Especially not when I see you behaving like that. Makes me want to teach you some manners.
