“I get that you’ve only just started with us,” I said, trying to keep my tone level because I really didn’t want to yell. “But how hard is it to send a message? Did it happen at nursery? At home? What did he do it with? I know he said he was helping with dinner but did that include playing with knives?”
“First of all, good evening, I hope you had a good day,” Harper said coolly. He was still smiling but it now didn’t reach his eyes. “And thank you for asking. If you’d let me explain before jumping down my throat, I’d be able to tell you that nothing actually happened.”
I stared at him, mouth half-open. Did he know who he was talking to? This was my son and I was his boss. How dare he say that nothing happened! “Excuse me?” I growled out as Jack slid out of my arms, heading off to find whatever toys he’d left lying in the kitchen.
Harper raised an eyebrow behind his glasses and held up his hand. There were two large plasters on his fingers. “I cut my fingers while making poke bowls for us because I’m not used to your knives and I was distracted helping Jack slice some avocado with the toddler knives you provided and said you were happy for him to use. Jack felt bad that I’d hurt myself and insisted I needed lots of plasters. Then he wanted one too because he thought it would make me feel better if he had one as well.”
“O-Oh,” I said, because fuck me. Once again I’d opened my mouth and put my fucking foot in it. At this rate, I’d be giving Danny a run for his money.
All the wind went out of my sails and I felt myself deflate.
Good job, Graham. Harper had been here for two days and I’d already fucked it.
Christ, what the bloody hell was wrong with me?
“Er, I’m sorry,” I said as I glanced down at my feet, almost wishing the tiles would open and swallow me up. “I should have asked first. Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“I’m fine, thank you. And I appreciate your apology.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Look,” Harper said, quietly but firmly as he moved around the island. “I understand you’re worried about having someone else here to look after Jack, and it can be scary when you think your child has injured themselves, but please let me be clear that I will not accept being spoken to like that. If there was a problem, then I would let you know, and I need you to trust me. Or try to at least.”
“Sorry,” I said. “I, er, yeah. I get it. And I’ll try to be less of an arse.”
He looked at me with those beautiful, piercing grey eyes. “Thank you.” His smile brightened and I felt a little wave of relief rush through me. It seemed like he’d forgiven me for now, but how many times would that happen before he decided I was too much to deal with and left?
I really needed to get a handle on myself before I once again did something I’d regret.
“Now, Jack helped me cut up some strawberries, if you’d like some? I don’t know if you’ve eaten or not, but we did quite a few. And I promise I’ve removed the ones that got a bit too squashed for human consumption.”
It was an obvious peace offering, a chance for us to put everything behind us.
And I was very happy to take it.
CHAPTER FIVE
Harper
“I don’t know.Maybe I’ve made a mistake,” I said as I sipped my mug of hot summer berry squash and sank further into the armchair in the corner of my little sitting room, my phone lodged under my ear while I made myself comfortable.
My joints ached slightly, a casual reminder of how they didn’t always like me being on my feet all day, even if that came with the territory of looking after toddlers. I was hypermobile from the waist down and sometimes my body and brain had differing ideas about what my physical limits should be.
“Is it really that bad? Or is it just the initial awkward nerves?” Marissa asked. “You said you thought he’d had trouble with nannies before. Maybe he’s just worried you’ll leave and he’ll be back to square one.”
I hummed, because I’d been thinking the same thing. That was partly why I’d called Marissa, who was the middle child of my three older sisters, because we thought in very similar ways. And she’d always give me her honest opinion when I asked, so if I was totally screwed, at least I’d know it.
“I think that’s part of it, but I’m not sure it’s all of it.”
“What else could it be?”
“I don’t know,” I said, adjusting my legs until my hip popped and rolling my lips together, pulling all sorts of weird and wonderful faces as I thought. “Stress? Jealousy? Inadequacy? From what he’s said, he’s been solo parenting for a couple of years while also playing rugby. Maybe he’s feeling a bit torn between both of them?”
Marissa hummed. “Could be. Remember when Sophie was struggling with the whole mum versus career thing? Like whether she could or should do both and feeling guilty about literally every option we thought of. Maybe you should talk to her about it?”
“No, I don’t want to stress her out,” I said. “And besides, I shouldn’t really be talking to anyone about this. It’s his private life.”
“Yeah, but it affects you too, and if he’s making it a shitty place to work, you need to be able to vent. But I promise, I won’t tell a soul.”
