“I am nae scared,” he said.
“Aye, ye are,” she said. “Of losing control. Of losing face. Of losing me after ye let yerself have me.”
His jaw worked. “Ye daenae ken what it cost.”
“I ken what it costme,” she said. “I kissed ye. I asked for nothin’. I took nothing ye didnae give. But I willnae stand here and let ye speak as if I am a mistake ye must fix.”
He stepped closer, then stopped. “I didnae call ye a mistake.”
“Ye called marriage a wound,” she said. “What does that make me?”
Silence pressed hard.
Alex shook his head once. “I said I cannae. I didnae say ye were lacking.”
“Then what am I?” she pressed.
He looked at the floor. “A risk.”
Her breath hitched. “A risk,” she repeated. “Because ye might care.”
He did not answer.
“Say it,” she said. “Say ye want me and ye willnae marry me. Say it plainly.”
He ground out, “I want ye.”
She waited.
“And I willnae marry ye,” he finished.
She nodded once. “There it is.”
He reached for her, but she stepped back. “Daenae touch me if ye mean to speak like that after.”
“This isnae fair,” he said.
“Life isnae fair,” she said. “Ye told me that without saying it.”
He felt something hot rise in his chest. “This is the only way I can keep this house steady.”
“Then own it,” she said. “Daenae kiss me and pretend it costs ye nothing, then refuse to bear the cost.”
His voice rose. “I willnae be trapped by a vow that kills me.”
“And I willnae be used as a lesson,” she retorted. “Ye need to be forward about what ye want. Stop hiding behind yer fears.”
“I said Icannaego through thesameordeal twice,” he said again, his voice harsh enough to send her a few steps back. “I lost an eye. I nearly lost the children. I willnae risk that again.”
“What does that even mean? They areyerchildren. How do ye lose them?”
“Believe me, ye daenae ken half of it.”
Her mouth trembled once, then steadied. “I would never harm them.”
“I didnae say ye would,” he said. “I said I willnae risk them.”
She swallowed. “Then ye have spoken. And I have heard ye.”
