“No,” she said to Elizabeth. “I…” She considered what to do. “I think I might just go.”
“Don’t do that,” Arabella pleaded. “Don’t give him the satisfaction.”
“He already has it,” she laughed bitterly. “What is a little more?”
She said goodbye to her friends, keeping an eye on Lord Ashcombe to make sure he did not see her. And then, once he was out of sight, she rose quickly and made for Sebastian.
He saw her coming, frowning with apparent confusion as if the sight of his wife approaching him was a most odd thing. He stood with three men she did not know, but he turned from them as she neared.
“Ah, dear wife,” he beamed with open arms and a smile. “I was just about to come and –”
“We need to leave,” she cut him off. “Now.”
He frowned at her, noting the purpose in her voice and the look in her eyes. “What… why?”
“Please…” She asked softly, not wanting to beg. “Can we just go?”
She braced for him to argue, as surely he would do just that. Sebastian did not like being pushed around, and likely, he would think this was some sort of power play. Thankfully, he seemed to notice just how desperate she was, and his expression softened so that she thought he was about to pull her into a hug. He did no such thing.
“Of course,” he said. Then, he stepped into her and rested a hand on her back. She winced at his touch, feeling none of the warmth she had once coveted so much. “Gentleman,” Sebastian addressed the group of men. “I am afraid I must leave you. Mywife…” He winked. “I might be the head, but she is the neck that tells it what way to turn.”
The men laughed, Sebastian laughed along, and Margot scowled because she could not be bothered with pretending. And then, together, they left the party. No words were said between them, and for once, Margot was glad for it.
Still, she could not stop thinking about Lord Ashcombe, his sudden appearance playing havoc with her senses. It was as if a light was being shone upon her, highlighting all the mistakes she had ever made, confirming that they were her fault and there was nothing to be done.
As bad as this last week had been, Margot sensed things were only going to get worse.
Seventeen
There was something wrong with his wife. Of that, Sebastian had no doubt.
He had noticed it the previous day, as they were leaving the luncheon. The way she had come to him and asked to leave so suddenly, a look in her eyes and a quiver to her voice that had told him things were not as they might seem. Sebastian might have ignored it if it were not for the ride home. A silent affair, which was expected, but the way she had looked out the window the entire time, her body turned away, was telling.
I might have expected her to do as she always does. Watching me from the corner of her eye. Waiting for me to engage – hoping I will. But this time, it was as if he didn’t exist.
Sebastian had thought to ask her what was wrong, but he abstained from doing so because he was still determined to establish a sense of distance between them. All week, he hadworked so hard to do so, and to break it now felt weak-willed and redundant.
To be clear, Sebastian had not enjoyed this previous week at all. It had, for all intents and purposes, been the hardest week of his life. Avoiding her at every turn. Sitting in near silence at supper. Pretending that he could not see her there, that he could not hear her moping about the house, that he could not feel her pain…and that I feel this way too! It is so unlike me that I don’t know what to do or think!
But it had to be done. That evening, the previous week had been a close thing, and still it sat with him day and night. What might have happened if he had given in? What would the current state of their lives be like right now? And why did he fear it so?
He reasoned that soon those thoughts would leave him. That a few more days or weeks of distance and she would be less than a shadow, easily forgotten and just as invisible. He needed that to be the case. He needed both her and himself to understand what this marriage was and then accept it as the only way.
If only things were so simple…
Sebastian spent that night awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering about his wife and what could have possibly gotten to her. Something was on her mind, more than what had been, and despite his best instincts, he was determined to find out.
So it was that the next morning, Sebastian decided to break his fast with her for the first time. Only… he walked into the breakfast room to find it empty.
“Her Grace,” he asked the butler who stood waiting. “Has she broken her fast already?”
“No, Your Grace,” the butler answered. “She has not left her room, as far as I know.”
Sebastian frowned at the response, his concern spiking. Again, he knew that he should not care – he did not want to! Alas, he found himself walking to her room and standing outside her door, desperate to knock and speak with her, knowing he would be a fool to do such a thing.
No… do not show her that you care. Do not let her see it. Tonight, at supper, I will ask her. But I must be careful, for I cannot let her know I have been thinking about her all day.
It was a long day to be sure. Made longer because every hour or so, he would pass her doorway and find it closed. This only confirmed that something was indeed wrong, which only heightened his need for answers.
