I grimace.
“That’s all the answer I need. I have to admit it, I don’t get it.”
“Why?”
He opens his mouth, shuts it, and presses his lips together.
“You can say it.”
I assume he’s going to mention Billy, whom we’ve managed not to talk about since we walked to the waterfall, as I requested. It’s silly, because we can’t avoid the topic forever. Nor can we keep our relationship from him if we’re going to keep seeing each other. But while it was new and fragile, I wanted to exist with Jimmy in a Billy-free bubble.
Not that our relationship is new or fragile anymore.We’ve been seeing each other as often as possible, and things have been going great. I'm comfortable and confident with Jimmy, and he makes me so damned happy. I thought I was happy with Billy, but now I realise I didn’t understand what true happiness was.
“You and Billy must have fucked in my parents’ house. If that wasn’t weird, why aren't you comfortable screwing here?”
“This is my boss’s house.”
“So. It’s your home, isn’t it?”
I scuff my foot against a cobblestone. “Yes. It's just... different. I’m being silly.”
“You’re not. I don’t get it, but I respect it. Do you want to go to mine? I’ll drive, and I promise I’ll either bring you home tonight or in time to milk the cows in the morning.”
I gape at him. “You realise how early that would be, right? Maybe I should follow you in my car.”
“You’ve been doing all the driving since we got together. It’s not fair.”
“You didn’t have a car.”
“True, but now I do. You shouldn’t have to put in all the effort for us to spend time together. So, from now on, we’ll take it in turns.”
I hold him tight.
He rubs my back. “You okay?”
“Yes. Just— Thank you.”
He kisses my hair.
“But you shouldn’t have to drive me both ways. Thatisn’tfair. So you should come here, and I’ll getover my embarrassment about fucking in my boss’s house.”
“We don’thaveto fuck,” Jimmy points out. “We could do other stuff.”
“We could do other stuffandfuck.”
He laughs. “Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. I want to be withyou. I’m not just in it for the sex.”
“Same. I?—”
He raises his eyebrows. “You?—?”
“I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you. Is that okay?”
“Okay?! Flynn, it’s fucking amazing.” He picks me up and spins me around again. “Oh, baby, it’s so good to hear you say that.” He kisses me, holding me close and tight. “I love you.”
I melt into his arms, clinging onto him like he’s my anchor in a storm of emotions. Yes, I’m falling in love with him, but that’s coupled with guilt because nothing is going to change the fact that he’s Billy’s twin. Us being together will hurt Billy. The more serious we are about each other, the more hurt we’ll cause. But I can’t let that get between us. I can’t let Billy get between us. I won’t.
“Let’s go inside,” I whisper.
