“Uh, yeah.” Is that so surprising?
He replaces the cap on the windscreen washer tank and closes the bonnet with a clunk. “Want some company?”
“I—uh—don’t you have finals?”
“My last one is tomorrow, and, right now, I could do with a break from revision. But, if you’d rather be alone?”
“Company is good. But, uh, I think Jimmy is working out today, if you’d rather do that.” I wince as I realise what I said.
Angus raises his eyebrows. “How do you know what Jimmy’s doing?”
I kick a loose stone. “We’ve been hanging out a bit.” Why deny it? Angus already knows we slept together when I first arrived. Not that he knows that I know he knows.
“That’s great. I’m glad you’re reconnecting.”
I smile. “Me too.”
“Give me five minutes and I’ll show you one of the nicest walks around here.”
“Okay.”
I lean against his jeep while I wait. How am I going to sort my head out? I can’t get over Billy just because I want to be with someone else. If it were that simple, I’d have erased him from my heart months ago. Nothing I can do will change the fact that Jimmy and Billy are twins. Nothing. Which means I have two choices: continue sleeping with Jimmy, knowing I’m going to hurt Billy, or deny my feelings for Jimmy, so I don’t hurt Billy.
“Is everything okay?” Angus asks.
I almost jump out of my skin. I put my hand on my chest, over my frantically beating heart. “Yeah, I was just lost in my thoughts.”
“Penny for them?”
I pull a face. “No one says that anymore.”
Angus laughs and shrugs. “I do. This way.” He strides towards one of the fields, which is being allowed to recover while the cows graze elsewhere.
I follow, falling into pace alongside him. I have to walk faster, as I’m shorter.
“Do you want to talk?” he asks.
I shrug. Do I? I don’t know Angus that well. Plus, he’s Jimmy’s best friend. Although maybe that’s a good thing, because he won’t want Jimmy to get hurt. I don’t want to hurt Jimmy.
The path cuts diagonally across the field, towards a copse. In a neighbouring field, I spy a dilapidated barn. I’ve noticed it before, but haven’t paid it much attention. Now it seems like a good distraction.
I point to it. “I could help your dad fix it up.”
Angus’ face flushes red. He turns away, so he’s facing the barn. “No need. We don’t need the storage space.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to tear it down, then?”
“I guess Dad will get around to it one day.”
Now I’m curious. The closer we get, the easier it is to see tyre tracks in the field, leading to the barn. They’re not fresh, but they’re not old, either. Someone is using that barn for something. Is it Angus?
“So, you and Jimmy? What’s going on there?”
We’re past the barn now, almost at the copse.
Angus waves his hands. “You don’t have to tell me.”
I sigh. I needsomeoneto talk to. Why not Angus? “You know we slept together?”
