Vesper dropped her clothes on the ground and turned to see Bellamy leaning casually against the doorframe, watching. Her expression was guarded, her body was tense. Bel was worried—actually worried. Vesper cocked her head, trying to figure out what Bel was afraid of now.
“Already saidI didn’t.”
“How many times have you come to see her?” Bellamy asked, arms crossed and looking at Vesper with a pout.
Vesper smirked. Bellamy wasn’t scared. She was insecure. And Vesper knew a good way to help with that. She shrugged, walking over to Bellamy and sliding her hands under her shirt.
“Tried to come down every couple days,” she murmured, looking down, trying to read Bel’s face. She watched the adorable flush spread over her cheeks as she tried to push Vesper away.
Vesper held firm on Bellamy’s waist, pushing her against the door, letting her fingers dig in. Bellamy’s next words didn’t hold the ire she wanted to portray. More of the embarrassment, the insecurity, reared its head instead.
“How many of those times did you stick your fingers in my sister’s cunt?”
Vesper sighed. “None, Bel. I told you. I only met her that day. I didn’t even know you had a sister, for fuck’s sake!”
“Would you have?” Bellamy whispered, clutching the front of Vesper’s shirt and pulling her in.
Fucking of course she would have, and Bel damn well knew that. But it wasn’t for the reason Bellamy would assume. Bellamy sniffled when Vesper took too long to answer.
“Yeah,” Vesper admitted quietly.
Bellamy’s shoulders shook, and Vesper pulled away, gently tipping Bel’s face up to look at her. Her makeup was smudged with tears streaking down her cheeks. She always could make Vesper feel fucking horrible.
Vesper swallowed her pride and continued. “Only because she looks like you. I only ever wanted it to be you.”
Bellamy searched Vesper’s face, her eyes darting all over. “You’re lying,” she whispered.
Vesper shook her head. “I don’t know if I ever really hated you, Bel.”
Bellamy surged forward without another word, crashing them together. Their kiss turned frantic in an instant as Bellamy clawed at Vesper’s clothes.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Bellamy
Never really hated her.
Bellamy wanted to cry with relief—relief and loss for what they could have had. If only she hadn’t been so fucking stubborn, if only she had told Vesper the truth all those years ago. What could have happened? Would Vesper have killed Cedar, or would she have figured out about the familial relation?
They could have savedyearsof fighting. She couldn’t even be mad at Vesper either. Bellamy knew she would have made the same decision if the roles were reversed. She would have done anything to keep Vesper safe. Shediddo everything to keep Vesper safe. And Ves did the same for her.
She decided right then and there that this entire thing was Cedar’s fault.
Bellamy shuddered when Vesper’s fingers lightly skirted the underside of her bra. There was a question in the hesitant gesture, a stark contradiction to the way Bellamy had aggressively tried to rip Vesper’s clothes off when she’d first uttered the admission.
She knew what it had taken for Vesper to say that, the vulnerability she absolutely didn’t want to show, it just made this more significant.
Bellamy gave into the touches. Her brain needed to be shutoff. She didn’t want to fight Vesper anymore, didn’t want to think of the regrets and the what-ifs. She lifted her arms and let Vesper tug her shirt off and unhook her bra. Vesper kissed her neck and pulled her close, her hands drifting up. Then she broke away.
Bellamy whined and tugged at Vesper’s clothes. Vesper chuckled, desire burning in her gaze. In one swift movement, Vesper tugged her own shirt over her head and stripped naked.
“Shower?” Vesper asked, not waiting for a response before pulling the curtain aside. She smirked as Bellamy scrambled out of the rest of her clothes and tried not to slip to follow her in. Vesper stood there letting the warm water slide down her body, waiting for Bellamy.
Bellamy couldn’t help but indulge herself, drinking in the sight. Vesper had always looked good, but with her head tipped back, the water running down her face over, her defined muscles, and all the places Bellamy longed to touch…
Bellamy swallowed.
She joined Vesper under the spray, moulding their bodies together and kissing her gently until water got up her nose. When she broke away, Vesper soaped up her hands and rubbed them delicately all over Bellamy’s body. She took her time, washing the sweat and smudges of soot away.
