CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Vesper
The morning had been silent. Bellamy hadn’t really slept in, which was a little surprising.
They’d slept in the bed together, and it was weird. Vesper wasn’t used to it. When she woke up, she jolted away on instinct and rushed out of bed to the bathroom. It took her a few minutes to remember that she might not hate Bellamy anymore, that she could let that easy intimacy return between them.
All the lies came back to her, warring in her brain with the truths she now knew. She still wasn’t sure how much of Bellamy’s story had been true, but she figured that at least two things were for certain: Cedar wanted Bellamy dead—by any means—and Bellamy had been taking orders from her.
They needed to talk, she knew that, but it didn’t feel like the right time. They were officially on the run from their employers, who certainly would be putting out a hit on them at some point in the near future. Vesper hoped they would have time to collect some things from her apartment before that. They wouldn’t have long.
She couldn’t afford to be distracted now, and neither could Bellamy. Which meant they had to talk, to some extent, about… well, about everything Vesper was having trouble processing at the moment.
Vesper sat beside Bellamy on the bench. She couldn’t look at her, instead opting to twiddle her thumbs in front of her.
“I just don’t know how I can trust you,” Vesper admitted in a whisper after too long. She knew Bellamy wasn’t going to start the conversation. She was still too down, swirling in her guilt. Vesper would have to do it.
“I know,” Bellamy whispered back, her voice small. She’d sunken in on herself even though Vesper wasn’t angry—not really. She’d go through waves where the anger would hit her, sure, but then it would dull to grief, to loss. She didn’t know what she’d expected Bel to say, but she couldn’t hold it in. “I can prove it. When we get back, I mean,” Bellamy continued after a long pause.
“How?”
“I kept everything. The instructions, the bracelets.” She shrugged, “I don’t know why. They’re at my place.”
Vesper shook her head. “Bel… If anyone found those?—”
“I know.” Bellamy sniffled. “But they didn’t.” Vesper nodded. Obviously not or she’d be long dead.
“That was reckless.”
“I promise I’m not lying to you. Never again,” Bellamy said weakly. Vesper knew she meant it. “Do you hate me?”
Vesper sighed, she wrapped her arm around Bellamy. “No, Bel, I don’t hate you.”
“What’re you thinking?”
“I just—” Vesper shook her head. “I just wish you’d told me all of this from the start.”
“We’ll be okay?” Bellamy asked in such a painfully small voice. Vesper hated how insecure she’d sounded this whole time, but she didn’t know what to do about it.
“Yeah, we’ll be okay.” Vesper kissed the top of her head, wishing she could do something to put Bel at ease, but anything she tried to do right now would be a lie. And Vesper was so sick of the lies.
They ate lunch in silence and then got down to the matter at hand. Some sense of normalcy returned as they discussed their plan. Bellamy deflated a bit when Vesper said they wouldn’t have time to go ransack her place for the notes. It just wasn’t a priority right now. She knew Bel had been counting on those to prove everything to Vesper, but they’d just have to survive long enough first, or else none of it would matter.
By the time their trolley finally pulled up to the station just outside Vesper’s building, they were ready. A sense of calm had settled over both of them. They weren’t fighting, they weren’t normal, but they were ready. Ready to face whatever the fuck shit show they were about to walk into together, and that was all they needed right now.
Vesper moved around her apartment with efficiency, having already mentally catalogued all the items they’d need. She’d tasked Bel with shoving as many clothes into her bag as possible, while Vesper focused on filling her bag with toiletries, the med kit, and whatever food she could fit. The fewer stops they’d have to make, the better.
They’d need to remain unseen for as long as possible, find somewhere to lie low, and hopefully work out a plan to get off-planet and away from the Embunuh—their reach was too far to be safe on this world. Ideally, they’d get the target off their backs, but Vesper had no idea how to get that done. She just needed to figure out a way to get a step ahead of them. To figure out their next move.
“All packed up?” Vesper asked when she strode back to the bedroom after emptying her stash of protein bars and jerky. She checked on how Bellamy had fared with stuffing her own bag when she saw her strap, sitting on top of the clothes. Bellamy was picking her fingers and refusing to look up.
Vesper sighed. “Essentials only, Bel. We talked about this.”
“Itisan essential,” Bellamy insisted.
Vesper rolled her eyes. “This isn’t a vacation,” she chastised, reaching for Bellamy’s bag. Bellamy slapped her hand away, a poutalready on her face. Vesper tried not to groan. “Fine. But it stays in your bag.”
Bellamy grinned victoriously. Shaking her head, Vesper walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed the hollowed-out book where she stored all her money. Yes, she knew it was an obvious trick, but it worked. She didn’t have a safe, and her room was warded to shit. Nobody could break-in.
