“I didn’t think the whores were supposed to accept drunks,” Bellamy hissed at her, all her fear pinpointed to rage.
“They don’t,” Vesper replied. She sounded tired. “It wasn’t like that. I was just…” She sighed and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
Bellamy packed up her shit and left that day, showing up at her brother's house with two duffle bags and a pile of regret. She’d been living with him ever since. A part of her had hoped that it wouldn’t take that long for her and Vesper to get back on track. That she’d be able to get Cedar off her back, and it would be safe again.
They would reconcile. They belonged together. Bellamy hadbeen so sure of it. So sure that she hadn’t bothered finding her own place. She had to focus all her energy on fixing this fucking mess she’d gotten them into.
It was too late anyway. They were done. Bellamy had broken them beyond repair. She tried to find positives—she’d always hated their apartment anyway. She’d hated how the whores would look at Vesper, how Vesper would look back, claiming she was friends with some of them. It wasn’t that Bellamy didn’t trust Vesper, she just knew how the whores could be. They were professionals, and they were fucking good at their jobs.
She was right to hate it. Vesper fell into them once, and she’d never stopped. But that anger was too raw for Bellamy to hold onto. Every time she tried, it only resulted in tears. She couldn’t truly hate it either. It kept Vesper out of trouble, kept her safe—that might have been worse.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Bellamy
Atruck raced past her along the smooth street, and Bellamy jumped. She looked down the road at the unfamiliar buildings, watching the large vehicle fly over trolley tracks and weaving between motorbikes. She hadn’t realized how far from the hotel she’d drifted as she wandered aimlessly, lost in her thoughts and memories, in her regrets.
She turned her gaze back to the cobbled sidewalk, kicking a loose stone as she continued wandering. She just couldn’t understand, after everything they’d been through, all the shit Bellamy had put her through, what snapped? What finally caused Vesper to stop choosing her?
Vesper said she didn’t care about Cedar, but if that were true, she’d have come back to her apartment after fucking her. She wouldn’t have stayed the night. Right? Had she spent the night with Cedar before? How much did they even know about each other? Did Cedar know Vesper’s likes and dislikes, or was this all just a fucked up ploy to make Bellamy miserable? Because if it was, it was fucking working.
Everything had seemed normal on the trolley ride, aside from Bellamy losing her shit, but Vesper handled that perfectly. Just like she always did. Ever the calculating, unaffected domme. Bellamyreally regretted that bet. Vesper had barely even looked at her after; she hadn’t even looked tempted. All Bellamy had done was piss her off, apparently.
Excited murmuring and the sound of coins falling onto the tile floor drew Bellamy from her malaise. A gambling house. She looked to her left. The hotel had dropped out of view, but it would be a straight shot back. She wasn’t lost yet.
Everything in her told her to turn around, to go back to the hotel, back to Vesper and their assignment. Told her to face the reality of the shitty life she’d created for them. The door opened and a group stumbled out, laughing and joking as they pushed into the crowds on the street. She heard the dealers shuffling inside, money being slammed on the table. Blood pounded in her ears. The smell of the stale, musty air and spilt booze beckoned her.
One game couldn’t hurt.
Maybe this would be the one that got her out of all the shit she’d buried herself under. She’d be quick. She only got caught at home because she was a regular. The dealers knew her. Here, she was a stranger—a ghost if she wanted to be. Nobody would look too closely. Bellamy took a step toward the door.
She could fix everything. This could be their way out.
A warm arm circled around her neck, and a hand clasped her shoulder. A body pressed against her, pulling her back as she took her first step. She would know that hold anywhere. Maybe her efforts hadn’t been for nothing. It had been years since Vesper had touched Bellamy with any kind of warmth like this. Something had definitely shifted between them in the trolley.
Bellamy closed her eyes and melted back into Vesper, leaning her head back and reaching up to hold Vesper’s arm in place, reveling in the comfort.
“You can’t lose this early, Bel,” Vesper whispered. “You know I still couldn’t afford the whores here.”
Bellamy sighed contentedly. “I was just looking.” She allowed herself, if only for a moment, to pretend like nothing had changedin the first place—that she still had her Vesper, the one who loved her beyond all reason.
Vesper’s laugh was light in her ears. It swam through her brain and wormed its way into one of the holes blowing through her defenses. It had been so long since she’d heard Vesper laugh like that, sinceshehad been the reason for it. She’d missed it so much.
“Sure you were,” Vesper teased, pulling away and looking at Bellamy with a tenderness that took her breath away. This, right here, was her Vesper. The one she thought she’d lost forever.
Bellamy blinked and the look was gone. Vesper looked behind them, back towards the hotel. “Come on.” Vesper nodded down the road, letting go abruptly, as if she suddenly realized what was happening. “It’s getting late. I checked us in. We need to discuss tomorrow’s plans.”
“Okay,” Bellamy agreed quietly, shivering in the sudden cold that rushed in where Vesper had been moments ago. Looking down, Bellamy fought the urge to grab Vesper’s hand—they were so close. She wanted to grab hold and never let go, to run from this assignment and not look back.
She couldn’t afford to risk that much. She had to rebuild her walls, not tear them down just because she’d gleaned an ounce of happiness from Vesper’s temporary lapse in judgement. Nothing good would come from Bellamy letting her back in. She wouldn’t survive another heartbreak.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Vesper
It was steadily getting harder for Vesper to remember that she hated Bellamy. Something inside her had cracked in that fucking trolley, and out came all these damn emotions she’dthoughthad been bottled up long ago.
Then, seeing Bel about to give in, get lost in the cards… Vesper shouldn’t have stopped her. Should’ve let her play. Then, she could have gloated about winning their bet. She shouldn’t be encouraging Bellamy, pulling her away, or letting Bellamy cling to her like that. Definitely shouldn’t let her look at her likethat.Like there was more between them than hatred.
