CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Bellamy
Present Day
Bellamy lingered in the bright hotel lobby near the manicured reception desk. Everything was shiny and new and it made her want to vomit. Their trolley had arrived with just enough time for them to get there a few minutes before their client. Only, it wasn’t the client, it was just some guy from the Embunuh. Apparently the client hadn’t deemed their assignment important enough to ensure the details were accurately conveyed.
Fine by her, they didn’t always meet them anyway. They’d just assumed for this one since it was a New City, it’d be more important. Not that New Cities were better than their usual locations, just richer. They had trucks too, she hadn’t seen one of those up close before, so she supposed that was cool. No skin off her back either way, she needed to escape. And once it became clear the client wasn’t meeting them, she was free to dip out. She suspected Vesper didn’t even want her at the meetings. Not really.
She watched the corner of Vesper’s lips tick up—the smile actually reaching her eyes. Her posture was relaxed, casual, her thumbs hooked in her pockets as she chatted with the man afterBellamy slipped away, before they got into the actual details. Vesper never gaveherthose easy smiles.
Vesper also didn’t trust Bellamy to do her job, and Bellamy couldn’t even blame her for it. She deserved it, always fucking up their assignments one way or another. Keeping Bellamy in the dark was just one way Vesper could try to prevent that.
But Vesper didn’t know it was all fruitless. Didn’t know the shit Bellamy had found and drowned in. Of course she wouldn’t, Bellamy wasn’t going to tell her. She refused to risk Vesper’s life for her mistakes. To drag Vesper through the mud with her, even though she was already doing that without even trying.
Every fucked up assignment was a risk, but only if she got caught. She hated herself for it.
She had to get away. She couldn’t wait for their discussions to be done, she needed air. Once their contact had ensured both were present for the assignment it didn’t matter if Bellamy wandered off anyway. Ves would take care of everything—except for the disposal. Bellamy deserved it though.
Once Vesper's lips thinned into a line and a more serious expression took over her features, they got to business, sitting in the hotel’s stuffed leather chairs around a small oak table. Bellamy took that time to slip out of the hotel onto the crowded street surrounded by pristine buildings. Her absence went unnoticed by Vesper, who hadn’t even looked her way since they’d entered the hotel.
Their energy was off. She’d allowed herself too much vulnerability. She’d shown Vesper a part of herself that she desperately tried to hide. Not to mention it had been utterly humiliating when Ves rejected her. Especially after how much she’d put into her little show. And Ves wasn’t even affected by it.
It was all a game between them—a game Bellamy would lose a thousand times over simply because she cared more than Vesper did.
A tiny, insecure part of her brain screamed that if it were anyone else trying—if it were Cedar—Vesper wouldn’t have beenable to remain so composed. Wouldn’t have been able to hold back. And that kiss. Bellamy couldn’t stop thinking about it. About any of them, but that first one—fuck. She must have really caught Vesper off guard with that one.
Or Vesper had been thinking of someone else.
Bellamy hoped that wasn’t it. She desperately wanted it to be her and only her for Vesper. The way Vesper’s hands dug into Bellamy’s hips, that whine. Bellamy would die if she had to live the rest of her life without hearing that sound again.
Then that kiss after their game. Gentle and tender, it had felt almost caring. The way Vesper had cupped the back of her head, had pulled her in. Bellamy wanted to hold tight and never let go. It had been so long. So painfully long.
AndVesper had to comfort her after that nightmare? Had to hold her until she fell asleep. It was as if Vesper was determined to fucking break Bellamy in every single way. As if she hadn’t already.
No, all that was too much. Bellamy had to get away. Even if it was just for a minute, she couldn’t handle it anymore. She couldn’t let her walls crumble despite their already chipped exterior.
This whole bet—her trying to seduce Ves—had been a lapse in judgment. She thought she’d be okay, have some fun, it wouldn’t mean anything. It never did, not anymore. Bellamy would take whatever Vesper wanted to give her, and they both knew it.
But this was worse than she’d imagined. So much worse. She was losing herself, and she recognized that. She was behaving more erratically, not thinking. It was just… Why did Vesper choose Cedar?
Their entire lives together, up until she’d shown up dying on Vesper’s doorstep, Vesper had always put Bellamy first. Yeah, she’d stitched Bellamy up, saved her, whatever. Vesper wasrequiredto save her, it was in their contract. That didn’t matter. Especially when, after that, she’d left. She left so she could spend the wholenight with Cedar. FuckingCedar. All while Bellamy was laid out on her floor.
That was what Bellamy couldn’t handle. It was driving her mad. She’d lost control of her actions, made a fool of herself. She threw every single emotion and breakdown she could at Vesper just to get her attention back, to erase every trace of Cedar from Vesper’s thoughts, from her body.
Bellamy was losing her mind.
And then there was the assignment making everything worse. It was punishment, she was positive, for not delivering the paper from the last job. Vesper could try to keep her from fucking up their assignments, but no matter what she did, she would never succeed, because Bellamy had something Vesper didn’t know.
Don’t save her.
That was all it read. She and Vesper got the same assignment details in their respective boxes, but Bellamy’s always came with a little extra. She’d always made sure to check the notes in the safety of her cramped bedroom, rushing there immediately after checking the box outside of the flower shop up the street from her. A small note, a cryptic message that she normally couldn’t figure out until they were on the job. The anticipation always made her heart race. Her fears took over her mind with what-if’s.
This one was obvious, though. Something was going to happen, something bad, and Bellamy was not supposed to save Vesper. It was the worst possible note she could have gotten. She’d broken down in the shower after reading it, trying desperately to shove down the thoughts of death, which her mind immediately went to.
She’d been a good little soldier for their last six contracts—since it had all gone to shit and she’d ruined everything for them. She never complained—well, she stopped complaining once she figured out how useless it was. As soon as they’d threatened her with a sufficient deterrent. All she did now was whatever she was told.
That didn’t mean she accepted it.
