Bellamy rolled her eyes, glaring at Cedar before she turned her ire on Vesper, trying to gauge her reaction and what she was about to do.
“No one,” Vesper sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Sorry, you should…” Vesper trailed off, looking uncomfortable, and finally pulled her strap out of Cedar’s disgusting cunt. “Can you at least give her some fucking privacy to get dressed?” she snapped at Bellamy.
Bellamy huffed and turned around in her chair. She sure as shit wasn’t going to leave them alone. She could practically feel Vesper’s glare burning into her back, but it didn’t matter. She was staying planted.
“Ex-girlfriend?” She heard Cedar ask in a mock whisper—emphasizing the “ex” part. “Do I need to go?”
Bellamy ground her teeth, straining to hear Vesper’s reply, but it was too quiet over the shuffling of their clothes. She jumped when Vesper slammed her strap onto the nightstand. Vesper was fucking pissed. It didn’t matter though, Vesper was kicking Cedar out. Bellamy was staying.
Cedar could try to dig her claws into Vesper all she wanted, but when Bellamy shows up, Vesper chooses her. That almost made the cracks in her heart knit back together. Until she heard the obnoxious kiss Cedar had obviously forced on Vesper followed by the not so quiet, “See you tomorrow, then?”
“Maybe,” Vesper tried to whisper, but Bellamy heard it, heard the smirk in her voice too. She swallowed down the lump in her throat. She would not let them see her cry.
“What do you want?” Vesper asked as soon as the door had shut. Bellamy hated how she didn’t even sound angry, just tired.
Bellamy turned and saw Vesper had thrown on a t-shirt and boxers. It was irrational of her to think Vesper wouldn’t bother, but it still hurt.
“I didn’t know whores did house calls now,” Bellamy said—relieved her voice didn’t crack—instead of mentioning their assignment. She had to know, had to see Vesper’s face when she answered.
Vesper sighed, wiping a hand over her face. “Cedar isn’t a whore.”
“Well, you’re not dating her.”
Vesper scoffed. “You can’t tell me who I can or can’t date.”
Without thinking, before she could stop herself, Bellamy stormed up to Vesper and slapped her across the cheek. It wasn’t exactly unusual—as much as she hated herself—but they’d done worse to each other in training. Vesper could take it. Then, for the first time in their relationship, Vesper hit her back.
It was the first time in three years that Vesper had even deigned to touch her in any way. The sting of the slap wasn’t whatmade Bellamy’s eyes finally prick with tears she’d been holding back. Fuck the assignment. Bellamy could rearrange their transport and hotel. They didn’t have to leave tonight. She had to get out of there now, away from Vesper.
“Dammit, Bel, don’t.” Vesper’s hand closed around her bicep and pulled her back before Bellamy made it to the door. Vesper wrapped her arms around Bellamy in a protective hold. She’d thought she would never experience it again.
“I’m sorry,” Vesper whispered into her hair. “And… I’m not dating… Cedar,” she sighed, struggling to find placating words. “Well, we’re not anything.”
Bellamy sniffed, wiping her tears on Vesper’s shirt.I still love you. She couldn’t say it, she knew that. She’d broken them, pushed Vesper away with everything she had, tried to build up her walls. She couldn’t be selfish now. Besides, Vesper didn’t love her anymore. Bellamy had ruined that.
What she did instead might have been worse. Bellamy kissed her. She kissed Vesper with everything she had, every emotion she’d tried to hide, every word they’d left unspoken. Bellamy gripped the back of Vesper’s head, keeping them locked together. And when Vesper finally softened and let Bellamy in, she lost herself.
She climbed Vesper, wrapping her legs around Vesper’s waist, arms around her neck, not letting go even when Vesper tried to drop Bellamy on the bed. Instead, she pulled them both down together.
“Please,” she whispered, desperation seeping through her voice. She tangled one hand in Vesper’s hair and kissed down her neck. Hitching up her skirt, Bellamy pulled Vesper’s hand down to her center.
Vesper stayed quiet. She returned nothing Bellamy was giving, did nothing Bellamy was asking, just stayed still, letting Bellamy move her. Insecurity crept in. Bellamy was throwing herself at Vesper—literally—but it was too late. Ves didn’t want her anymore. But Bellamyneededthis.
“Please, Ves.” Bellamy blinked away fresh tears, watching Ves, trying to read her. She needed her to do something, to let her in, to touch her in any way Vesper wanted. She didn’t care, she’d let Vesper take everything. Bellamy wouldn’t complain, she’d do anything.
“Bel—” Vesper’s voice was strained, but Bellamy cut her off, unwilling—unable—to hear rejection, unwilling to accept it this time.
“Please,” she begged again, her voice cracked. Bellamy held Vesper’s hand in place, cupping her center while she ground against it. “I don’t care how. Use me, anything you need. Please.”
“This doesn’t mean anything,” Vesper whispered when she finally relented, shoving Bellamy’s underwear to the side and pushing two fingers inside and ignoring Bellamy’s pained cry. “Safe word?” Vesper asked angrily when she saw the tear slip down Bellamy’s cheek.
Bellamy shook her head. “Don’t stop.”
“But you remember it.”
“Yes,” Bellamy swallowed and Vesper’s other hand wrapped around her throat, tightening enough that she gasped. She knew Vesper wasn’t doing this for her. It was cold, tense, and horribly silent after that. The only noises filling the room came from Bellamy’s moans and Vesper’s fingers.
That was when Bellamy knew without a doubt that she had finally pushed Vesper too far. She’d truly lost her. Vesper didn’t care about Bellamy anymore. She had broken them beyond repair.
