Chapter 17
Rowan couldn’t get over the thought that she’d been just another warm body in Luke’s bed. Now things were awkward and uncomfortable. She didn’t know what to say or how to act so she kept her eyes on the road, resisting the urge to glance at him. To meet his gaze that she could feel on her.
This trip couldn’t go fast enough.
She caught a reflection of the sunlight off something on the side of the road and blinked. She slowed to a stop and put the car in park.
“What’s wrong?” Luke asked.
Pointing to the side of the road, she said, “Your truck.”
“Damn. Hang tight.”
“Yup.”
He walked to the edge of the road and the culvert the rental was in, scratched his head, then slowly disappeared into the ditch.
So much for her hope that they’d find it in working order and she’d be able to leave him there. A few minutes later, he reappeared, scrambling back up to the road. He brushed his hands off on his jeans, adding more dirt to the layers already on them.
Looking at him through the windshield, it was hard to believe he wasn’t the same Luke she’d known since she was twelve. Here, now, wearing a faded, tight-fitting t-shirt and dirt-covered jeans, he looked like her Luke. But looks were deceiving and that man was gone, replaced by someone who had a manager and a team and who didn’t think twice about shaking up her life like a snow globe.
He got back in the car and immediately plugged his phone into the USB port to charge. “Well, I found my phone and my wallet, but I’m going to have to pay to get at tow truck up here to pull it out of that ditch.”
Rowan nodded and shifted into drive, following the dirt packed road down the mountain. They eventually hit asphalt, signaling they were getting somewhat close to civilization. Other than Luke asking what she wanted to listen to on the radio—she didn’t care—they rode in blessed, awkward silence for the rest of the trip.
Almost two hours later, she pulled into the parking lot of the Alpine Inn and Convention Center and stopped in front of reception.
“Is this okay?” she asked.
“Uh…sure. For what?”
“To leave you here. This will be easier if you call one of your people to come get you than it is for me to take you all the way back to Denver.”
He turned to her in his seat. “Rowan—”
“Don’t.” She gripped the bottom of the steering wheel. “When we…broke up it almost broke me and I had to get away from Nashville. I went from wanting to be with you every day to being afraid I would randomly run into you. Denver seemed far enough away to get over you.”
She couldn’t look at him while she spoke and kept her eyes on her hands. “But I missed you so much and I knew within days that I’d made a mistake—that I shouldn’t have transferred—but it was too late. So I called and texted to tell you that I was wrong and I loved you and that I wanted to find a way to make it work, that I was willing to do whatever it took to be with you. Every call that didn’t get answered…every message that wasn’t returned…chipped away a little bit of me each and every time until I felt like there was nothing left. It took me close to a year before I could really accept that it was over.”
“Rowan, I’m not making excuses,” Luke said. “But I never got any of your calls or texts. I would have answered. I realized as soon as you were gone that I’d been an asshole. Every step of the way I wanted you with me and you weren’t there and that was my fault. You have to know I would have answered.”
Her head jerked in a semblance of a nod. “I believe you, but it doesn’t change anything that happened. I didn’t think I would ever be happy again and it took me a long time tobehappy. And up until two days ago, I was really happy.” It was hard to imagine it had only been two days. “Then you stopped my wedding and undid everything I’ve worked for the past six years. I don’t know what I’m going to do now.”
She took a deep, shaky breath. “But what I do know is that I can’t be with you. I can’t go back to the person I was then. So, please—don’t.”
She finally looked at him. Finally let the tears that had threatened for the last two days spill over. She ached for the Luke she once knew. He placed a hand on the side of her face and ran his thumb across her cheekbone, wiping at her tears. The heat of his palm radiated out and through her body and she fought the urge to press her cheek into it. He leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against hers.
It would be so easy to fall back into him—as easy as curling into him last night had been. She closed her eyes as the memories washed over her. He had been her first kiss and she’d thought he’d be her last. But that was then.
It must have registered that she wasn’t kissing him back because he ended the kiss and pressed his forehead against hers. “I still love you, Rowan.”
“I love you too, Luke. But just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them.” She swallowed hard and pulled out of his grasp. “Please go.”
He searched her gaze, shook his head slightly, and dropped his hand from her face.
“I’m not giving up, Rowan. Not this time.” He grabbed his phone and got out of the car and took two steps away from it.
Her bottom lip trembled as she pulled back onto the two-lane highway that would take her to Denver. Less than half a mile down the road, she stopped the shoulder and turned on her emergency flashers. Dropping her head onto the steering wheel, her chest heaved with the first sob.
