Zoe sat in the chair next to the love seat, curling her legs under her. “What’s going on?”
“João came clean. He admitted to the affair.” She looked up as if trying to keep the tears from spilling over. “He also told me what you said.”
“I’m sorry. I had no business dragging you into our fight.”
Alicia looked at her, tears spilling unchecked down her cheek. “You must think I’m so weak.”
“What? No. I don’t think that at all. I think we’re two very different people living two very different lives. I do think my brother is an asshole, though.”
She pulled a tissue from the box and wiped under her eyes, bunching the tissue in her fist. “You were right, though. I knew, but I could ignore it as long as I didn’t reallyknow. I could pretend nothing was wrong as long as neither of us admitted the truth.
“I kept telling myself it didn’t matter about the other women because it was me he married and me he came home to. But then I would wonder why I wasn’t enough. Why weren’t the kids and I enough to keep him happy and what was I teaching my kids if I continued to accept this?”
Zoe moved to the love seat and grasped Alicia’s clenched hands in hers. “I don’t have any answers for you.”
“He blames you.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
Alicia met her gaze. “I came by to tell you it’s not your fault. I should never have let it go on for so long.”
“It’s not your fault either, Alicia. João did this to himself.”
She shook her head and looked up again. “I should have taken responsibility for me and the kids but…I wanted him tochooseus. I wanted him to chooseme.”
“I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.” Damn, this felt like her fault. Even though João was the one cheating on his wife, if she hadn’t said anything to him, would Alicia be here? “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I kicked him out of the house.”
“What do you want to happen?”
“I love him.” A small sob escaped. “Even with everything he’s done, I still love him. I want my family whole, but if he can’t choose us…” She took a deep breath and sat up a little bit straighter. “I can’t stay with him, even though it will rip a hole in my heart.”
“Just so you know—I’m on Team Alicia. If you need anything, let me know.”
That earned her a watery smile. “Thank you. No matter what happens I will never keep you from JJ and Mary. You’re their favorite.”
“Did you drive this whole way here just to talk to me?”
“No. I took the kids to Raleigh for the weekend to see my parents. I told them I was running to the store. I needed a little time away. It was getting hard putting on a happy face for them and pretending everything is okay. I should really head back. Thank you for talking to me.”
“There’s no need to thank me. You’re my family.”
Zoe walked her out to her car. Alicia promised to bring JJ and Mary by to see her at the bookstore on their way home the next afternoon and she made a note to put a couple of books aside for the kids.
Once Alicia had turned the corner and was out of sight, Zoe rubbed her hands over her face and sighed. Alicia may not blame her, but it didn’t stop her from blaming herself.
She’d lashed out. Being angry at João wasn’t a good enough reason for dragging his and Alicia’s marriage into the argument. She’d never expected João to confess to Alicia because he didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing. Zoe couldn’t help but wonder if he’d done that to prove to her that Alicia wouldn’t care either but it’d blown up in his face instead.
Which still made it her fault.
She closed the door softly and leaned back against it. Tim sat halfway up the stairs.
“Eavesdropping?” she asked.
“Absolutely. I’m a cop. Being nosy is part of my job.” He walked farther down and sat again a few steps from the bottom, putting them at eye-level. “I came down to make sure you weren’t trying to hide the body of a door-to-door salesman.”
Her lips quirked up.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. Sucks though. I love Alicia.”
“In case I haven’t made it clear—I’m choosing you.”
There was no stopping her smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. For as long as you’ll let me.”
