“Why do you still doit?”
“Dowhat?”
“Go after thetarget.”
He drew a blank. He didn’t know how to answer thequestion.
Jase sat forward in the recliner and rested his elbows on his knees. “I loved it—Special Operations. Being a badass. Following the intel, assessing the objective, and taking down the target. It was a rush. Until I realized it was one huge fucking self-licking ice-cream cone. We weren’t making a difference. We weren’t even fighting a bad guy. We were fighting a guy who was defending his country—his home. It wasn’t anything any of us wouldn’t have done if the situation was reversed. I joined the Army to make a difference, but I ended up not liking the difference Imade.
“I’m not saying that’s the case with you,” he continued. “But why do you still doit?”
Chris rubbed his hand over his head, rolling Jase’s words over in his mind. “I guess it was the same. Didn’t really have a plan when I got out and started college. Figured I take a few classes and figure out what I was going to do with my life. Go into management or something. All those leadership skills I picked up as an NCO,” hescoffed.
“This girl I was dating, her little sister went missing. Local cops chalked it up to a runaway, but this girl swore up and down her sister wouldn’t run away. They were close and if there was anything going on, she’d have known about it. Her parents took the girl’s phone to the local FBI field office and begged them to look it. They found a whole bunch of hidden apps. She’d been lured out, probablytrafficked.”
He took another drink. “Right in the middle of fucking America. How does that happen? Girl I was seeing dropped out and went back home. I looked into joining the FBI. Had no interest in being a cyber analyst, but special agent? Fuck, yeah. That was right in my wheelhouse. Declared pre-law as my major and the rest ishistory.”
“And now?” Jaseasked.
Chris stared into the cold fireplace. “And now, I’m where I was when I got out of the Army. When the Southern Anarchists are gone, another gang will fill the void. The drugs won’t stop, the guns won’t stop, and families losing their kids won’t stop.” He looked at Jase. “So what difference am Imaking?”
“When I started V.E.T. Adventures I just wanted to stop one guy from killing himself the way Tony did. Just one. If I could do that, I’d be a success. The difference we make doesn’t have to be huge. Doesn’t have to be epic. It can just be one guy.” He held up his index finger. “But that guy—he’s got a wife. Friends. Parents. Maybe kids. So that one difference can ripple out and affect dozens ofpeople.”
“I get it, but why are you telling methis?”
Jase nodded, as if psyching himself up for what he said next. “I’m expanding V.E.T. Adventures. I’m partnering with Denise to pair guys who come through my programs with dogs she has and I got a subcontract with a Veterans Affairs outreachprogram.”
“That’s great,” Chris said. “Congrats.”
“Thanks, but it means more work and more time away from Bree. I’ve been considering taking on a partner—someone who understands the mission and how important it is. Someone who wants to really make a difference. Normally, I wouldn’t have considered asking you, but…things being what theyare…”
“What do youmean?”
Jase leaned back in his chair. “Something’s off with you. I don’t think it’s this case, because things were going off before you left. I think you’ve lost yourpurpose.”
Had he? He was conflicted, that was for sure. He wanted to bring the Anarchists down. Wanted to give his agents’ families closure. Stop one more little girl from being taken from her family. But the void they created would be filled by another gang. Maybe one smarter and harder to takedown.
“What are yousaying?”
Jase pulled at his short beard. “Would you consider coming on as my partner? Not trying to make the decision to transfer harder, but maybe it’d be something you’dconsider.”
Shock didn’t even begin to describe his reaction. Being a badass door-kicker was pretty much all he’d ever done. It was what he knew. In the Army and the FBI. Could he be satisfied doing a job where all he did was camp and hunt? Hell, he did it a lot in his off-time anyway. He’d seen the change in a couple of guys who went on repeat trips, how the tension and anxiety would lessen over time. Jase made a difference. Maybe not the difference Chris thought he’d make by joining the FBI, but was it more important to stop bad guys from doing bad things or remind good people what theyhad?
Accepting the offer meant staying. It meant not leaving Denise. It meant lazy weekends together with Kimber and Kaden. The longing for normalcy and Rockwellian bliss was almost debilitating in itsintensity.
It also meant giving up the only identity he’d held as anadult.
“When do you need ananswer?”
“No rush. Think it over. I can handle things until you know which way you’re going togo.”
Chapter 22
The sharp crackof the rifle echoed off the surrounding trees, sending up a flight of birds that had settled into the branches only minutesbefore.
“You’re still off dead-center by a couple of centimeters,” Bree said, sighting the target downrange throughbinoculars.
Denise raised her head to stare at the target and ejected the spent cartridge from her rifle. “Scope might be off by a hair. I haven’t sighted it in almost ayear.”
