Her stomach dropped and she worked to control her initial reaction. She hadn’t expected the answer to be yes. Had he used her oversleeping as an opportunity to get information from the kids? “What kinds ofquestions?”
“How we like our eggs,” Kadensaid.
The sense of relief was instant and almost euphoric and she hated that for one short instant she’d doubted his intentions, but old habits died hard. Expect the worst and you won’t ever be disappointed. Funny…she’d still been disappointed when she’d thought theworst.
“He had to ask where our plates were,” Kimber added. “And he didn’t want to do myhair.”
The image of Chris trying to braid Kimber’s hair flashed through her mind. A small, hard knot in her chest unfurled at the picture it created. She mentally shoved the whole idea back into its metaphysicalcorner.
“Is he your boyfriend?” Kadenasked.
Denise coughed, choking on the spit that found its way down the wrong pipe with her surprise. “Why would you askthat?”
“‘Cause he was asleep on thecouch.”
“No. He’s not my boyfriend.” Truthfully, she didn’t know how to describe Chris. They’d had something a few months ago that could have been more. They had…something…now, but she had no idea what it was or how to categorize it. All of which was too complicated to tell a nine- and eight-year-old.
“He’s just afriend.”
“Oh,” Kimber said with a good deal ofdisappointment.
“Why do you say it like that?” Deniseasked.
“Amber’s mom has a boyfriend and he takes them to dinner and moviessometimes.”
“Do you want to go to dinner and movies sometimes?” Of course they did. Damn, she hadn’t really done anything fun with them, had she? They’d been so focused on getting through Sarah’s cancer, she completely forgot they were just kids and needed to do funthings.
“Tell you what—how about tomorrow, I pick you up from school and we go see a movie and then go someplace fun fordinner?”
“Chuck E. Cheese?” Kimber’s eyes lit up withdelight.
The corner of Denise’s eye twitched at the thought. “We’ll see about that. I don’t know if they would allow Sprocket in there with us and I’d need to take her to a place likethat.”
“Oh, yeah,” Kaden said. He looked around Denise as they stood waiting for the bus. “Kimber, Mom said loud noises and stuff like that bother Aunt Denny, remember? We should pick somethingelse.”
“It’s okay, Aunt Denny. We don’t have to go there,” Kimbersaid.
Great. Now her PTSD was affecting them. Awesome. She knelt down so she was eye-level with Kimber. “Sweetie, it’s not your job to worry about me. I love that you care enough to be willing to give up something you want to do because you know it will make me uncomfortable, but I’m the grown-up. I’ll figure something out so we can do something fun,okay?”
“But I love you, Aunt Denny. I don’t want you to beupset.”
Kimber completely wrecked her. Took a hammer and smashed up her hardened heart until all that was left was the soft, vulnerable, defenseless center. The bus pulled up at the corner and the doors opened with a low squeak. She glanced over at the kids lining up to get on. “I love you too, baby. We’ll figure it out,okay?”
“Okay.” Kimber threw her arms around her neck. “Loveyou.”
Kaden kissed her cheek quickly and ran for the bus, as if he were afraid his friends might see him being affectionate. Denise smiled and stood, watching until the bus pulled away from the curb and was out ofsight.
Heading back to the house, realization struck. She loved them, but it had always been in the way that she loved all her family—unconditionally and unquestioning. It simplywas.
While she knew her family loved her in return, until that moment she didn’t realize the depth of love a child could provide. Realizing Kimber loved her enough to unselfishly sacrifice her own desires, at eight years old, tilted the axis of herworld.
She’d said she’d do anything to protect them—and she would, without a second’s hesitation—but until then even she hadn’t understood to what lengths she would go to do that. There were none. No line she wouldn’tcross.
It terrified her. Not that they loved her or that she loved them, but if anything were to happen to them, she knew she wouldn’t survive thedevastation.
She pushed through the front door and closed it behind her, throwing the dead bolt. Sprocket trotted over to her and pawed at her knees. Kneeling down, she buried her face in her dog’s neck, wrapping her arms around her. Sprocket rested her head on Denise’s shoulder, giving her the comfort sheneeded.
“Everythingokay?”
