“Yup.”
“What a dick. What was wrong with his place?”
“I have no idea. He said he came over to surprise me, she followed him, and one thing led to another.”
“How the hell does one thing lead to another?” Denise’s voice rose. “And how did she not realize a woman lived here? This house doesn’t exactly scream bachelor pad.”
“Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe he told her he had it decorated. I can’t work up the energy to care at this point.”
“What did she look like? Please tell me she didn’t look like you?”
Brianna considered the lock of her long, dark auburn hair she was twisting around her finger.
“Nope. She was short. Like, oompa-loompa short. She barely came up to my shoulders. Fake blonde hair and her boobs were fake.”
Denise gave her a crazy look. “Is that a guess or did you see more than you needed to see?”
“Oh my god. She had no shame. Chad whipped the sheet around him like he was Caesar on the Ides of March and left her naked as a jaybird. No one’s boobs are that perky unless they have supporting infrastructure. That chick had more plastic than a Hasbro factory.”
Denise laughed so hard she nearly toppled off the couch. “Oh my god, stop. All I can picture are her boobs in the shape of toy trucks.”
Denise’s laugh was infectious and Bree joined her. Then Denise snorted and they both lost it.
“The worst part is they were screwing on my favorite set of sheets.” Bree’s laughter faded to chuckles. “I’m going to have to buy a whole new mattress now.”
“Did you already burn the sheets?”
Bree dropped her head back against the sofa. “Ugh. I could barely look at the bed when I changed clothes. I’m going to need a full hazmat suit to get rid of them.”
Denise smiled before asking, “How’re you really doing?”
“I should have cut bait a long time ago. Hell, I never should have said yes when he proposed.” Bree raised her head back up.
“Kind of hard to say no when he blindsides you at your gran’s big birthday bash in front of all your friends and family. What I don’t know is why you didn’t break up with him before then.” Denise raised her eyebrows as she looked at Bree over the rim of her glass.
“Honestly, I don’t know either. Laziness?” She shook her head. “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to break it off for a while without being a complete bitch about it.” Bree sighed and sipped her drink. “I didn’t want to cause a big scene at Gran’s birthday.”
“You really think she would have cared?”
“No,” Bree admitted. “But I panicked when he got down on one knee. Plus, he drove.”
“Hmm…I can see how that would have been a problem.”
“Yeah. I’m not even hurt. I’m fucking pissed. It’s just so freaking disrespectful. Seriously. Who does that shit?”
“Uh, a narcissistic asshole.”
“True story.” Bree finished off the rest of her drink. “We’re not doing this. I refuse to sit around and brood over what an asshat he is. Let’s go out.”
“Go out where? It’s eleven o’clock and I did not come dressed to go out and drink your cares away. I dressed to bury a body in the backyard.”
Bree looked at the cut-offs and t-shirt she had on. “We’ll go to The Deck. No need to change clothes. And I would never bury a body in my own backyard. That’s just asking to get caught.”
“The biker bar? Are you nuts? There’s a stabbing there every night.”
“Don’t be dramatic. I’m sure it’s only every other night.”
“Ha ha. Not the point.”
