I lift a hand to brush her bangs out of her face, but she quickly jerks her head out of the way and lifts a hand.
“Don’t…”
Realizing I’m getting in her space, I crouch down in the door opening beside her car to give her some room.
“Look, I’m here for you.I may not always be good with words, but?—”
She snorts loudly and interjects with a healthy dose of humor, “Now there’s an understatement.”
“But…” I repeat.“I am a decent listener, and I’m your friend.I care.”
Funny how every time I use the termfriend, it feels progressively wrong.I’ve known Bess forever.Only by sight when she was a kid, before her family moved away, but I’ve gotten to know her in person since she returned to Silence.Especially since she opened Strange Brew and it became an almost daily stop.
She proved a good friend during Emily’s battle with the aggressive cancer that took my wife’s life way too soon.While we were spending most of our time in Spokane for treatments, Bess offered Carson a safe and caring place to come after school.She made sure he ate a decent meal when we’d run late.On top of that, she organized a support tree of friends and neighbors who helped with basic things like laundry, cleaning, groceries, and cooking.Especially during that last month, when my singular focus was looking after my wife.If not for the quiet support at my back, I don’t think either my son or I would’ve come through.
But at some point in these past months something changed.A slow realization Bess is different from others I’d consider friends.More.
After losing a loved one—and even though Emily’s and my marriage was far from ideal, I did love her—sometimes you need to raise a protective shield in order to be able to put one foot in front of the other.There was little I let myself care about, especially that first year after her death.Numb was my preferred state of being, getting through everyday life from muscle memory.It was easier that way.
Then I almost lost my son last year.A wake-up call of epic proportions that ripped the protective layer right off my soul, leaving me raw.Bess was there, in the aftermath.Always unassuming, but also unmistakable, to the point where I felt it when she was not around.
I’ve always thought her beautiful; the black hair framing her delicate features, and her generous mouth that would easily split into a wide, ready smile.There’s a lightness to Bess.Something happy and uncomplicated and nurturing.
But right now, that lightness is gone, and that’s what worries me.
I’m rewarded with the hint of a smile when she looks at me.
“Insomnia.I haven’t been sleeping and it’s taking its toll,” she finally explains.
“How come?”I probe gently, keeping a lid on the instant flood of creative ways I can imagine myself helping her get to sleep.
She scoffs and her eyes slide out the front window.
“Who knows.Old age?”she jokes with a humorless chuckle.
“You?Hardly.If you’re old, what does that make me?I’ve got quite a few years on you.”
Seven to be exact, but who’s counting?
“Yeah, but guys get better with age; a little silver, more rugged, slightly seasoned.Women…well, we get sagging boobs, cankles, and menopause.It’s not fair.”
I almost choke trying to keep from busting out laughing.I have a feeling that would not be a good move.
“I’m not sure what cankles are and I’m guessing menopause is still some years off, but I am positive your boobs are perfect right where they are.”
I’m glad my only slightly off-color comments put an instant blush on her cheeks and have her slapping a hand over her mouth to contain a surprised snicker.I was hoping to lighten the mood a little, and maybe drop the hint I see her as more than just a friend.
Encouraged, I decide to push that envelope a bit.
“I have an idea.Why don’t I pick you up at six, and we’ll go grab some dinner and have a few glasses of wine.I’ve been wanting to try out that new place, Fusion.I was told it’s good.And who knows?”I add.“Maybe a good meal and a few drinks will help get you to sleep.”
And if that doesn’t work, there are a few other tricks I might have up my sleeve.
“I don’t know.It’s been a crazy week.I probably should?—”
I’m not surprised she’s trying to blow me off.That seems to be her default, but I’m not going to let that stop me.
“You’ve gotta eat anyway.Might as well be a fabulous meal at a nice restaurant in good company.”
