Yours truly,
Rita
Ozzie tucked the letter underneath his thin pillow and put his head on top of it while trying not to succumb to the emotionsthat welled inside of him. What would Rita say if she knew his predicament?
He could remember the last time he cried… Ozzie was twelve. His dog, Pebbles, was an active dog and was always running out the door when someone opened it. He had tried to train her not to leave the house unless he gave the command, but Pebbles ran out into the street and got hit by an ambulance speeding through his block. Pebbles was the first living being that Ozzie had loved and lost, and he howled and cried uncontrollably. It was on one of the rare occasions his father was home. Big Otis snatched Ozzie up by the collar and told him through clenched teeth, “Men don’t cry. Only sissies. If’n I see you cry again, I’ll give you something to cry about. Now go get yourself together, ’cause I ain’t raising no sissies.” Ozzie was shaken. He gulped and sniffled until his tears were trapped in his chest, making it hard to breathe.
He hadn’t shed a tear since, and that was seven years ago. But in that moment with Rita’s letter under his head and Jelka’s news in his heart, Ozzie knew if he allowed himself the luxury; he would cry a kitchen sink full.
First Sergeant Petty had alerted his commanding officer, and as a result, Ozzie had been confined to base for six straight weekends for his behavior. By the time he was able to visit the Federal Eagle Club, it was the end of February. The moment Ozzie stepped foot into the club, Jelka ran up to him and threw her arms around his back.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered, then grabbed his face and kissed him. Ozzie hadn’t realized how starved he was for physical affection until he felt her lips on his and her arms threaded around his waist.
He exhaled and pressed his forehead against hers. “It’s good to see you too.”
“What can I get you,Mein Prinz?”
“Ah, I’ve been upgraded to a prince in my absence.” He squeezed her hand. Jelka’s face had a rosy fullness to it, like she was a flower in bloom. “Club soda,” he said.
“Is that it?”
Ozzie felt an itch in the back of his throat, but he nodded. He hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol in six weeks, and he had decided that his drinking days were behind him. He was about to be a father and needed a clear head to navigate his next moves.
“What time can you leave?” he asked, looking around.
“I can try to go now, if you would like. My boss owes me a favor.”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here. I’d rather be alone,” he whispered.
Snow fell lightly from the sky, and it felt good to hold Jelka’s hand as they headed toward the rooming house.
“Have you told anyone about the…” He had a hard time saying the word.
“No. Only you.”
“Have you thought about what you want to do?”
She stopped in her tracks and scanned his face. “What choice do I have?”
Ozzie didn’t have the heart to say she should get rid of it. He didn’t know how abortions worked in this part of the world, but it was a dangerous back-alley business in Philadelphia. At least that was what he had overheard from a conversation between his two sisters.
“I don’t know.”
They walked the rest of the way in silence. When they arrived at the house, the thick woman in the scarf welcomed them in. “By the hour or for the night?” she asked.
“The night,” Ozzie said, and then paid the fee.
She led them up the stairs and pointed to the room on the left. The fever came over Ozzie as soon as the door was closed, and Jelka seemed to ignite too. They clawed and sank into each other with a thirst that took two rounds to quench.
Jelka panted, and then her breathing slowed. Ozzie had not thought about what was growing inside her while he tended to his needs, but now that they had finished, he turned and stroked her belly, still flat against his palm.
Jelka kissed his chest and placed her head in the crook of his arm. “Maybe you should take me to America with you. When you go.”
Ozzie stretched his legs under the sheets. “I’m treated far better in Mannheim than I’ve ever fared walking the streets of South Philly. You can believe that.”
“You have family who will understand our child. Not like here. I am afraid it will be teased and hated.”
“Don’t worry about that now. Get some rest.” He rubbed her head. In an instant, Jelka fell asleep. But every time Ozzie closed his eyes, he kept hearing a child cry out,Daddy.
