“It’s the only reason I could come up with to justify you missing my awards ceremony. Because I’m such a fool for you, I couldn’t allow myself to believe the truth.” She blew air through her nose.
“Baby, I’m sorry. It’s not what it looks like.”
Rita pushed up from the sofa and marched over to where he stood just beyond the front door. She grabbed him by the collar, sniffed his neck and mouth, and then sucked her teeth. “It’s exactly what it looks like. You’re drunk. It’s a freaking Monday night, for Christ’s sake. And I reminded you over and over again about the ceremony.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Do you know I was the only Negro in the whole entire auditorium? Up there onstage, I could barely concentrate on what was supposed to be a joyous moment because I kept looking for you to walk through the damn doors.”
He shifted on his feet, hating that he had ruined her big night. “Let me explain.”
“You’re full of shit, you know that?” Rita’s eyes blazed red. He parted his lips to speak, but she held up her hand to silence him.
“I’m pregnant.”
The temperature in the room dropped. “What?”
Rita stared at him pointedly.
“I thought you wanted to wait until after law school.”
“Yeah, well, this baby had other plans. And I can’t bring our child into the world with you drinking like a fish and not showing up for your responsibilities.”
A baby with Rita. Ozzie stood in shock.
“You’ve been hiding liquor and lying about our two-drink agreement.” She reached under the coffee table and set two empty whiskey bottles down with a thud. She had found his secret stash. His stomach turned sour.
“Those bottles are from before.”
“First you embarrass me at the Alexanders’, then you shame me by being late with the rent, and now you’ve humiliated me in front of my entire law school cohort by standing me up.”
“Rita, I ran into an old friend, it was his—”
“You aren’t the man I married,” she shouted, and those words were like poison-tipped arrows through his heart.
“Baby.”
“Don’t you ‘baby’ me, Oz. I can’t go to law school and take care of our child and your drunk ass too. If you don’t get it together…” Her bottom lip quivered.
“It won’t happen again.” He reached for her waist, but she pushed him away and then pounded up the stairs.
Ozzie knew the doghouse drill and made his way down to the basement. What was he thinking, stopping into Wally’s? He should have known that once he started drinking with those guys, it would be hard to leave. Rita was having his baby. How would he shoulder more responsibility when he was struggling to take care of them now? His heart raced as the worry of it all consumed him, but then he thought of Katja, and his breathing slowed.
She would turn five in the fall, and if she were with him, she’d be starting kindergarten. He wondered how tall she was now and what toy she loved best. Did she still have the Philips nose, or had her features changed? Then, like a tidal wave, the U-turn that his life had taken the moment he’d left Germany without her pulled him under. The booze had worn off, and in marched the pain. He had screwed over so many moments in his life that he was beginning to think this was just who he was now. Long gone was the young, optimistic fellow who volunteered for the army with the goal to work in Intelligence and show America what the Negro man could do.
Rita’s voice echoed in his ears,You aren’t the man I married,and shame wrapped around him like a second skin. Even in the dimly lit basement, he could see his hands twitching. Withdrawal. The alcohol was doing a number on him, and he had no idea how to make it stop. Ozzie had gotten so far away from the man he had set out to be, he no longer knew how to find his way back.
CHAPTER 51Prince Frederick, MD, April 1966
SOPHIA
On the afternoon before their trip to Williamsburg, Sophia found Walter with his feet dangling from beneath the Ford Six.
“I can’t stop picturing the look on my mother’s face when I ring the doorbell. Do you think she’ll be there? We haven’t considered that she might have a job,” she whispered as he rolled from underneath the car.
His overalls were covered in grease and soot. “Rusty, we have a problem.”
Sophia froze.
