“I’m really sorry about last night.” I press my lips to her forehead again. “I know I haven’t been spending a lot of time with you lately. And I know breakfast doesn’t make up for it, but I hope you know that I’m trying.”
Rachel stiffens in my arms.
Fuck.
I said something I shouldn’t have.
“Did you have fun?” I ask, hoping she’ll be excited to tell me all about the fun evening I missed.
Instead, she rolls away from me and sits up before rubbing her eyes. “I don’t know. Did your mom get everything she needed?”
The pointed way in which she says ‘mom’ confirms what I thought.
She’s still pissed.
I sit up and move to wrap my hands around her shoulders but stop short. I know Rachel is still as attracted to me as I am to her. Just feeling her response to my cuddle a moment earlier—before she fully woke up and remembered she’s pissed at me—tells me everything I need to know.
But now’s not the time to try to win her over with affection.
When she’s upset, Rachel withdraws. Until this year, the root of her upset was almost always an external source. Nothing to do with me.
It happens on her mother’s birthday. Or on days when the twins have overstimulated her. A plethora of things can hurt Rachel, and my role in these moments was always clear to me.
I support her. Protect her. Do everything in my power to make sure nothing can get to her when she’s fighting against her demons.
But now that I’m the root of her upset, I have no fucking idea what to do. And it’s been happening more and more.
“I’m really sorry,” I repeat, already knowing that these are just words. “I promise I’ll go next time, unless someone is actively dying.”
A deep sigh moves through Rachel’s body. Because her back is to me, I can’t see her expression. I wish I were still in touch enough with her to be able to instinctively know what’s on her mind, like I used to.
“Whatever. It’s fine.” She reaches for the plate on her nightstand and shimmies back against the headboard. “Thank you for breakfast, Karan.”
A soft smile appears on her pillowy lips. My heart lifts at her expression but sinks right back into my stomach again when I lift my gaze to meet her green eyes.
She looks… tired.
Of course, she woke up seconds ago, but I detect another layer of weariness in those eyes that I love so much.
“Uh…” I place the blanket back over her legs before she deposits the plate of food on her lap. “It’s a pleasure, love. There’s more in the oven if you’re still hungry.”
“Okay. This is nice.” She smiles again and takes a bite, her eyes closing as she savours the bite. “And really good.”
The sound of a door opening, followed by quick footsteps, alerts us to the twins’ presence.
“I’ll get them ready this morning.” I shuffle to my feet and shoot a final look at my wife. “You enjoy your breakfast.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“I love you.”
“... I love you, too.”
I walk out of the bedroom to go greet my boys, unable to get that sinking feeling out of my chest that my efforts this morning will not be enough.
Chapter 3
Karan
