Sitting in the large sled attached to the snowmobile, they had the wind in their faces and adrenaline pumping through their blood while we zoomed across the frozen bay and through the forest trails. I know they’re going to rave about this to their city friends at school once we’re back from the Christmas break.
What I didn’t anticipate was what having Rachel so close would do to me.
Having grown up in Val-d’Or, this wasn’t my first time on a snowmobile. Nearly everyone who works in the mining industry in that town owns at least one of these bad boys, if not more. I mean, what else are you going to do during the endless winters in a place with zero mountains?
But, as I said earlier, my aunt’s model is much smaller than what I’m used to. And I’m a big guy. This left hardly any space for Rachel, and gave her no choice but to hold onto me for dear life.
The heat of her at my back, her arms tightly wrapped around my chest, her lean legs stuck to mine…
It was pure torture.
It’s been so long since the two of us held each other close like that. And having her so close, gripping me so tightly, just gave me a taste of what I’m missing.
And it’s only not about sex. Yeah, of course, I want my wife, so much so that it makes me dizzy at times, but it’s that closeness, that intimacy that I miss most.
Holding her safe in my arms because I’m the one she trusts the most. Hearing her most secret thoughts whispered in my ears and no one else’s because I’m her confidant.
Part of me wishes I could whisk Rachel and my boys away, to a cabin not dissimilar to this one, away from the expectations of the world. When it’s the four of us and no one else, everything feels so simple. So effortless. We could live off the land, pave our own way.
But that’s not how the world works. Rachel has her sister. I have my parents. And we have to provide.
Ihave to provide.
Still, the idea that sparked in my mind after lunch is still very much active. There’s still a way I could show Rachel just how good we are together. How much her happiness matters to me.
So, as we come back inside with the rest of my extended family and strip off our winter gear, that spark of an idea starts to form into a real plan.
First things first, I need to get away from Rachel’s prying eyes. I can’t tell her what I have in mind, because I know she’ll refuse outright. This needs to be a surprise. It’s not a good rule of thumb to ask for forgiveness instead of permission in a marriage, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
“You look exhausted,” I tell her while she helps Auntie Anjali hang snow gear next to the firestove. “Why don’t you go take a nap before dinner?”
Rachel looks over at me and bites her lip. “You sure? You don’t need a break?” she asks, gesturing to our two boys, whoare already running around the cabin’s main room like two banshees.
I shrug. “No way. I’m good. You go rest, okay?”
She hugs her arms; Anjali nudges her shoulder with a teasing smile.
“I’d take him up on that if I were you,” she tells Rachel. “In fact, I think I’m going to head up for a nap myself.”
Rachel nods, her face blank. “Hmm. A nap does sound good.”
Relief washes through me.
Yes.
Now I can move forward with my plan.
I wait a good ten minutes after Rachel heads to our bedroom upstairs before cornering my cousins Ajay and Aisha, who are both doom scrolling on their phones on opposite sides of the couch.
“On a scale of one to ten, how bored are you two?” I ask, feigning innocence.
Both of them frown before looking at each other with suspicion.
“Why are you being weird?” Aisha asks first.
“I’m not being weird.”
“Yeah, man, you kind of are,” Ajay confirms.
