And I’m tired of crying over this marriage.
With a second thought, I take my phone out. I know who I need to call.
Océane answers within a single ring.
“Weren’t you just texting Sophie?” she asks instead of saying hello like a normal person. “Why are you calling me?”
“Want to play Wish They Were My Parents?”
For a moment, Océane is silent on the other end, and the only sound through the phone comes from Sophie’s kids screeching. Sophie and Will agreed to have Océane stay with them while we’re gone.
“Okay, sure,” Océane answers. “You okay?”
“There’s this sweet family on the deck here. The parents look like they’re enjoying themselves even more than the kids. I wish they were our parents.”
“Ha.” Océane pauses. “Mine’s going to be easy. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours, but I see the way Sophie is with her kids. So patient. Firm, but kind. Imagine if we’d grown up with that kind of discipline. I wish she were our mom.”
“Same, girl, same.”
The happy family is still there, now all huddled together taking selfies. The mother’s laugh carries over the sound of the engines and the wind, bright and carefree. Her husband pulls her close, pressing a kiss to her temple, and something inside me breaks.
When was the last time Karan held me like that? When was the last time we laughed together, really laughed, deep from our bellies, with hardly anything to worry about?
“Mommy?”
I turn to find Corey standing near me, his cheeks red from the cold wind. He’s wearing his coat, but it’s unzipped—something Martine must have overlooked in her hurry to let him follow me.
“Give me a sec, Océane.” I lower the phone from my ear as I kneel down to zip up his coat. “What are you doing out here, sweetie? Where’s your brother?”
“Still watching shows with Grandma.” I’m shocked they’re apart and not panicking, but I don’t say anything to avoid callingattention to it as he lets me fuss with his zipper. “But I got bored. And I missed you.”
The simple honesty in his voice makes my throat tight.
“I’ll call you later,” I tell Océane, and we say a quick goodbye right before I pull my son into a hug.
He smells like the candy Martine gave him earlier.
“I missed you too, sweetie.” I pull back and manage a smile. “Want to watch the sunset with me?”
He nods, and I lift him up to settle him on my hip. He’s getting so big, and soon, I won’t be able to do this anymore.
Together, we watch the sun slowly disappear over the horizon.
“Is Daddy really coming for Christmas?” Corey asks after a while, his voice small.
“He said he would.”
The words taste bitter in my mouth.
“But what if he doesn’t?”
I close my eyes briefly as another spike of anger surges through me. It’s one thing to hurt me. It’s another to hurt our sons. To make them doubt his devotion to them.
“Then we’ll still have Christmas,” I say finally. “We’ll still have fun with Grandma and Grandpa, your aunts and uncle, and your cousins.”
“It won’t be the same,” he mumbles into my shoulder.
“I know, sweetie.” I press a kiss to his temple. “I know.”
