I don’t stop.
Anjali sits in between both of my boys’ car seats, holding each of their hands. When I open the passenger door and gently place Rachel inside, both Cayce and Corey light up with questions.
“Where are we going?”
“What’s going on?”
“Did we do something bad?”
“Daddy, what’s wrong with Mommy?”
“It’s okay, boys,” Anjali coos softly, looking back at me. “Karan. I’m really proud of you.”
I swallow back the lump in my throat and nod at my auntie. No more words need to be exchanged between us.
I turn to face my boys.
“You did nothing wrong. Neither one of you. We…” I fake a smile. “We’re going on a little adventure, just the four of us!”
“What about Grandma and Grandpa?” Corey asks.
“They’ll still be here,” Anjali answers for me. “But don’t worry, we’ll take good care of them. You boys take good care of your mommy, okay?”
With that, Anjali slips out of the car, leaving a final kiss on each of my sons’ foreheads.
The door to the house barges open behind us.
“Karan, please!” Mom cries out from the door in one final plea.
The panic in her voice shakes me to my core.
I’m a terrible son.
I’m walking back on everything I know.
How will I ever earn their love again?
No.
I’ve been a model son. I shouldn’t have to earn anything. And I’m walking forward into the only future that I know I want more than anything…
A future with my wife and sons.
Chapter 37
Rachel
I’m trapped within myself. My mind is a globe of glass, from which I can only see a blurry kaleidoscopic view of the outside world.
Where everything is muddled. Foggy. Sounds like I’m underwater.
My body, on the other hand, is on autopilot, letting Karan guide it where it needs to go. But it has no will of its own. No ability to open its mouth and speak. The words are in my brain, screaming, pleading to come out.
But they can’t. They only bounce back from the glass walls and echo within me.
I want to say that I’m sorry. To Karan, and to Cayce and Corey. But especially to my boys. My actions directly ripped them away from their grandparents, and they’re still so little.
How can they understand? How is this fair to them?
