“That’s never happened.” Rachel resumes her expert slicing and tosses the final pieces in the bowl. My eyes are watering from all that onion cutting, but Rachel looks fine. She stands and grabs the bowl to bring it over to the counter, beginning the process of cooking the soup. “You probably know as well as I do that Will has a, um …” She hesitates to find the words.
“Tumultuous dating history?” I offer.
Rachel makes an approving grimace. “Yeah, that’s a good way to describe it. Anyway …” She fills the bottom of a large stockpot with oil and ignites the stove. “He hardly ever talked about those women. At least, not to me. And I’ll have you know, Will tells me almost everything about his life, so that says a lot.”
Everything? I’m guessing this means she knows about Matt and his cheating. Come to think of it, since Matt and Will were childhood friends, there’s a good chance Rachel grew up knowing Matt, too.
“And between you and me …” She leans towards the table so she can inch closer to me and lowers her voice. “I haven’t seen him this happy in years.”
A surge of bubbles spread throughout my chest. I have to admit I never paid particular attention to Will’s happiness when I was dating Matt. I thought he seemed pretty pleased with his life and his endless string of flings. But hearing Rachel tell me this now makes me feel fuzzy all over.
Rachel pinches her lips. “He’s been through a lot.” A wave of sadness passes over her face, and she looks at me. “Well, I know you have too. So, all I’m saying is … I’m happy you’re here. I truly think you’re exactly what he needs right now.”
A lump forms in my throat. I want to believe her. I truly do. The more time I spend with him, the more I realize that Will is what I need most right now, too. Even now, as I’m sitting inRachel’s kitchen, my body aches to be closer to him, despite him being just down the hall.
“Can I ask you something?” I prod.
“Well, you just did.” Rachel smirks. Okay, maybe she’s got some of her brother in her after all.
I roll my eyes with good humour. “You know what I meant.” I scratch my throat. “Did you ever …” How do I even ask this without sounding insensitive? “Before Karan … did you ever get cheated on?”
Rachel sighs. “Yeah, actually. My first high school boyfriend.” She rolls her eyes at the memory. “He slept with a cheerleader.”
“That dick.” Poor Rachel. I can only imagine what she was like in high school. Beautiful, but quiet. Definitely not a cheerleader. “So how were you able to allow yourself to love Karan? To trust him enough to give him your life? To give him kids?”
“It didn’t come easily. It took me a long time to trust again. Sophie … I understand where you’re coming from.” Her eyes fill with compassion as she stirs her stock pot. “But Karan never gave me reason to doubt his faithfulness. At some point I had to choose between living in the past or looking at what his actions were telling me. And they were telling me he was head over heels in love with me and would never even remotely be interested in anyone else.” Her gaze has drifted, and I see stars in her eyes.
I mull over her words. She’s definitely deeply in love with Karan. And no matter how much I deny it, I think I feel the same love growing its tendrils around my heart for Will.
But will that be enough to make him stay?
CHAPTER 28
WILL
“Kids, men—dinner!”
Karan and I pause our conversation and stream into the kitchen, although I have to hold Heather’s hand to guide her there because she’d rather just keep playing with the Mega Bloks on the living room floor. I sit next to Gwen, with both girls between Sophie and me. One at a time, Rachel serves each of us a steaming bowl of French onion soup, complete with broiled cheese and crusty bread. For Heather, Sophie has a plate of cheese, crackers, fruits, and veggies, but it looks like there’s enough on that plate for all the kids to graze from, which is exactly what happens.
I can’t get over how well Sophie and Rachel are getting along—how everyone is getting along, in fact. The entire dinner goes exactly as you’d expect with four kids and a baby. It’s loud, it’s entertaining, and we’re wrapped in a familial bubble of cozy warmth.
Sophie and her family fit right in with us. We should have invited her to join years ago.
Of course, things would have been different back then. Sophie would have been with Matt. I wouldn’t have been able to stroke her calf with my toe as I do now, eliciting a mischievousgrin from her. I wouldn’t have gotten the feeling that I’m as much a part of her family unit as I’m a part of my sister’s.
I picture the five of us doing this once a week. Instead of coming alone every Thursday, Sophie could join me with the kids. Imagining so much unbridled joy and family magic in my life fills my heart to the brim.
But despite the earth-shattering evening Sophie and I shared, I know what’s on her mind. To me, it became clearer than anything I’ve ever seen. I can’t not love this fierce, driven woman. How did I not realize it before? How did Rachel know before I did?
And yes, the words Sophie begged of me last night hinted that some of those feelings may be reciprocated.
Will, please. Make love to me, Will.
But also … I know what she thinks of me, simply because I haven’t yet told her why I’ve behaved this way in my past relationships. I know she sees me as a player. And I know trust is not so easily earned from her.
Can she really be mine?
I look over at her, seeing her erupt into laughter at a joke from Karan. Then, I focus on Rachel who gives me a strange look.
