I grunt into my phone. “I’m trying to.” If I wasn’t trying, I wouldn’t be entering all these relationships. I’d stop breaking all these women’s hearts. Thisisme trying.
“Okay.” Rachel’s voice is softer. “Still on for dinner Thursday?”
“Yeah.” I turn on Duluth Avenue to head back toward the office. “See you then. I gotta head back to work.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I hang up, dead set on using the remainder of my walk to get my head on straight. My talent at work is my one redeeming quality.
Which is why I know I can’t fuck it up.
CHAPTER 3
SOPHIE
What is he doing here?
I usually have time to brace myself before meeting Matthew. But this time, I wasn’t expecting him at all.
My heart races, and I have to actively try and push away the nausea. Every time I see him, his stupid grey eyes and stupid blonde curls, I’m thrown back to the night he destroyed our entire family.
I was so happy that night. Matthew had gone to one of his parties, and I’d agreed to watch the kids to allow him to blow off some steam. But when my mom suggested I go join him and let loose while she babysat the girls, I was elated. I had only just gotten pregnant with Julian, and I could feel some distance building a rift between Matthew and me. First trimesters are always a bitch for me, and I become prickly as all hell.
Matthew and I hadn’t spent that much quality time thus far. Before the kids, we’d go out to bars, host parties with friends, and a bunch of other things twenty-somethings do with their time. I longed for one of those nights again. That particular night, I felt strong and sexy, despite the constant nausea.
When I arrived at the party, I couldn’t find him. Most of the guests were hanging out in the host’s living room, including Will, Matt’s aggravating best friend. They were all either too high or too drunk to give me a straight answer, so I decided to find Matthew myself and surprise him.
Well, find him I did. In a bedroom, thrusting between the legs of some woman I didn’t know.
I don’t remember too much after that, except a few crystal-clear details: immediately throwing up after opening the door, turning to run, Will’s stone-cold eyes when he came up behind me.
I never liked Will. Not since he ditched my best friend Avery the night we met him and Matthew at that bar. But I did my best to respect him. And I thought he did the same with me. Turns out, it was all a facade. The fact that Will hid Matthew’s cheating from me all those years—turned out, he’d been banging random women that entire time—told me everything I needed to know about what he thought of me.
The separation didn’t take too long after that. I kept the house and bought back Matthew’s half of the equity in it. Despite how much I despised him and what he did to me, I didn’t want to bring the kids into it, so I accepted his offer of 50/50 custody. Except for Julian. There was no way I was letting him have custody of the baby I was still pregnant with while he was off somewhere, balls-deep in a woman who likely didn’t suspect she was taking part in this cuckold. I told him he could wait until I was done breastfeeding, and he was smart enough not to fight me on it.
Now that Matt is standing in my doorway, that feeling of disgust comes right back up, bitter as bile. Even though it’s been a year since I caught him in the act, I can still hardly stand to look at him.
I can’t believe I ever trusted him. Now, he reminds me too much of my father, who did the same thing to Mom.
I truly believed I had better taste in men than my mother. Guess I was wrong.
“What do you want?” I spit out, barely opening the door more than a foot wide.
Matt rolls his eyes. “Hi to you too, Sophie.”
“You’re supposed to be picking up the girls tomorrow. So legally speaking, I don’t have to tolerate you right now.” I’m about to shut the door, but he slams his foot to stop it.
“Can you just be civil for one minute?” He sounds annoyed. Good. “Look, I know I’m supposed to pick them up tomorrow …” He scratches the back of his head. At least he has the decency to look sheepish. “But we just got a last-minute call from work. I’m gonna need to get there super early, so I won’t have time to pick up the girls in the morning. I was thinking I could grab them now and bring them over to my mom’s for the night.”
My jaw drops. “They’re asleep, Matt. Have you seen the time?”
Matthew sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. “I know. This isn’t ideal. They let us know just twenty minutes ago, and I came over as soon as I heard.” He raises his eyes to look straight at me. “Please, Sophie. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
There’s nothing Matthew could ever do to ‘make it up to me.’ Already, his debt to me is infinite. The way he broke what we had—what I thought was a longstanding relationship built on love, trust, and family—isn’t something he can ever make up for.
But it does give me an idea. As I try to push down my anger, I back up in the entryway and open the door wider. “Don’t make too much noise—I just put Julian to sleep.”
